Adventures of Chels

Hope

2011-12-11T16:33:00.001-08:00

Today's sermon was about hope. I liked it a lot. He talked about the difference between hope and optimism. Optimism is seeing the good side of things and seeing that things will get better. Hope seeing the goodness of the future even if there is nothing in the present that points towards it. Like in Isaiah 9:1-7. They still had to wait and could not see the good coming, but they could hope that it was coming. I am an optimistic person always but have never thought of hope in comparison.

Also, another neat quote about when when things are not going our way, "it doesn't mean that God is not faithful, it means that he is not predictable." He often doesn't do things in the way that we think he would or in the timing that we would like.

I know that I can be impatient and want to figure things in life out. Often, I do not get this luxury. In retrospect, I can see reasons for why things happened in the way that they did, or why an opportunity didn't work out, I can see what I learned through the experiences. However, you don't always get to see the why or when in the moment. That can be hard and that is why we need hope.

Being Festive

2011-12-10T16:38:00.001-08:00

Now is the time of festivities. I even listened to Christmas music the other day while making ornaments out of cinnamon. They worked pretty well. A fun and easy project that my friend's 2 year old helped out with. (we made them in star shapes) And my house has 2 Christmas trees this year. My ceramic little one that my grandma gave me. It is awesome! And a large fake tree complete with lights and tinsel. I have already watched The Holiday and Love Actually. I have drank mulled wine. I have baked Gingersnaps and Christmas wreaths. Plus we are having a Christmas cookie party this weekend too. Tis the season.

Also, tis the season for Advent. 24-7 did great podcasts, one a day (minus Sundays) for Advent. It is great having a reminder each day, a verse to think about and a prayer focus.

Another Christmas tradition that I have fallen into in Madison is making a Christmas brunch. I enjoy this a lot, getting up in the morning and making food for people to come, eat and relax with. Plus it gives people who don't have family here (like me) a place to go in the morning. A lovely and relaxing tradition for me. (sad to miss out on time with my family though)

And it's about time to think of new year's resolutions. I wonder the percentage of people who make resolutions, how many of those take steps towards fulfilling them, and how many of those are successful in their aspirations. Last year, I resolved to drink less caffeine. I did it but should set about to drink less than the caffeine the I now consume. That was probably the first resolution that I have ever made, and I took steps towards meeting it, and did it. Success!

Running in the Rain

2011-11-22T21:17:00.001-08:00

A few weeks ago, I went for a run in the rain. It was fabulous! Oh how I love running, and especially in the rain. It was a little bit of a chilly night, so it took a little bit of time to warm up. Also, I almost didn't go because it was cold and dark. The thing is though, once on a run, I never regret it.

Running is usually good God time for me, that night was no exception. Amazing. I came back from my run nearly giddy that night.

2011-09-24T11:05:00.001-07:00

Fall has been lovely. My roommate and I went to the farmer's market this morning. We rode our bikes past lots of folks getting ready for and tailgating before the Badger football game today.

Beauty

2011-09-13T18:48:00.001-07:00

Over the weekend, I went to my favorite store, Anthropologie. The store is beautiful. The clothes, books, displays and other artifacts are designed well, look unique, and are arranged well. I love walking into the store and wandering around, touching the fabrics, looking at the arrangement of items, the colors, the textures, even walking in the front glass doors with their giant wooden door handle is enjoyable.

I entered the store and started to wander. Breathing and walking slowly, taking it in and enjoying the moment. I am a person who runs through life, I like to have lots of social engagements, go for runs, work hard at work, have ideas and schemes, thoughts and prayers. Finding times of quiet enjoyment and peace are really important. Stopping for breathing and beauty is good.

The two friends I went to the store with made their way to chat on a couch as I explored. I rounded the corner and headed to the sale area. I flipped through nice shirts, sweaters, jeans, pants, and then turned to the dresses in the middle. There, waiting for me, was a yellow dress that I tried on a fell in love with back in June in Chicago. I like to go try on things sometimes at Anthroplogie, just for fun. You get to experience yourself in this newness, this uniqueness and beauty. There were two of the dress on the rack and one was in my size! Perfection! I grabbed it and held it to me, like I was hugging it. Now I had a reason to buy a dress (a friend's wedding) and it was half price. (This store is expensive normally (another reason it is nice to wander around it, you can't so don't buy stuff)) I gathered some other items and made my way to the fitting room.

The dress what the first item that I tried on, my lovely yellow dress, with handkerchief pattern. (and pockets!) The ladies in the fitting room - the two women working and a lady who was trying things on, plus her friend - commented on how much they loved it. Then I went prancing through the store to show my friends, and twirl in my pretty dress. Other people who work there stopped and commented on how great the dress was. Have you ever tried things on that you feel so good in? Things that fit, and it literally puts a skip in your step, or a twirl in the case of a good dress. What a great time, being in the moment (something I often have trouble with) and being beautiful in a pretty dress. What joy. What fun!

God made things beautiful. In the beginning he made the world and it was perfect. It was beautiful, relationships were whole and things were as they should be. Beautiful things can be a great celebration and reminder of God's love, grace and beauty. God's love is one of abundance and extravagance. That is beauty as well. Any dress would be fine, it would get the practical job of being clothes done, but this dress, this pretty yellow dress, is so much more special. I am thankful for it, for walking into that nice store that day and the dress being there for me. What an experience.

Of course, you can go too extreme and become shallow, but if beauty is properly celebrated, there is such freedom in it.

Mid September

2011-09-13T13:59:00.001-07:00

I have been apple picking twice already this fall! Yay for fall. It is still warm though (not complaining), so you don't want to make pie or applesauce. I have a pie recipe from Williams Sonoma though and plan to make it this fall. It has homemade caramel sauce in it, yum! I want to learn to make pie crust this year, as I don't want to cheat and buy it anymore.

I have been trying to be optimistic about the idea of winter coming. And I have been able to fool myself for a while. Yesterday though, it struck me that going outside would be painful and cold, that there would be ice and snow! Ah. Each year I seem to forget that it will get cold and snow. Hopefully we will have a nice fall first, pretty leaves, crisp weather to wear jeans and hoodies, good times for hot apple cider. Here's to a nice fall......(though I will miss you summer, come back soon!)

Summer to Fall

2011-09-02T10:23:00.000-07:00

Today is a warm and sticky grey day. Then it is going to get chilly. The season is changing and fall is coming sometime. I thought about going apple picking this weekend, but it seems early. I love summer. And summer nights sitting by the water, talking with friends, seeing how they are, and being. The sun goes down, lots of people are around, the sailboats are in the water, idyllic really. Yesterday, I went to my first Badger football game. So many people, all wearing red and flooding into the stadium. What an experience! As each season changes, I usually reflect on what the season was and what is coming next. I don't know what fall will bring. Apple picking. Running in cooler weather. Also I have a new life group starting. It was so fun to get to meet them last week. I love a new group of people, getting to know them, seeing how they react to each other, who befriends whom, what thoughts they have, who they are, and what the personality of the group will be. The new-ness when there is a group of individuals who don't know each other, and yet in a short time, there will be a dynamic to the group. After we got the group, we sat on a half circle patch of carpet to chat. I asked everyone to stare the super hero power that they would have if they could have one. Always a fun question. The carpet was like our little island, or boat in the sea of tile to hang out on for a few minutes. It is great to get to be the person to get everyone talking, what an honor and thrill. We shall see what the group is like and where it goes. What shall the season bring? I have a while to see, as fall comes at the end of the month.

Helping Out

2011-07-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

I believe that people at their core are good. And I have gotten to see examples of that lately. There have been a few times where people have gone out of their way to help others. These have been kind of extreme examples, but beautiful none the less.

The first one was when I was playing tennis with a friend. This was the first time that I have played in years, and my tennis "career" was a semester of tennis class in college. But there we were on a nice sunny morning playing. It was going pretty well, meaning that I missed less shots than I thought I would. One volley didn't end well though. My friend ran to hit the ball, fell and dislocated his shoulder. (poor guy) The nice part about the situation was that there were three different people who walked over to us to make sure that we were okay, and one even offered her car if we didn't have one and needed to go to the hospital.

The second scenario happened at the Tough Mudder, a hard core 10 mile crazy difficult obstacle course. A man was running through hanging electrical wires and over mud and hay. He fell and was in pain on the ground. His family ran back to him (some had finished the obstacle) or stopped if they were with him. They all then knelt in the mud beside him. It was a pretty picture of caring well for someone. There they are soaking in the mud.

Now I am not saying that it was good that either of those people got hurt, but there was a beauty and grace to how people around reacted.

As others ran through the same obstacle on the Tough Mudder course, lots of people stood by and cheered, yelling encouragements if they were getting up out of the mud. It was powerful.

On the way home, we rode on the ferry. We did not fit on the first ferry. The second ferry came and we almost made it on. We had pulled up to get on, but then had to back up once realizing that it was full. A man came up to our window and told us that he had saved us a spot in the front of his lane if we needed to back up into it. Nice.

These moments of kindness and people looking out for each other do happen. I hope that they happen often. I was struck by them lately and took notice.

More Greatness

2011-07-20T10:50:00.000-07:00

Last week, I drove to Chicago and spent a lovely day there. It started with a breakfast with a friend. Then a fabulous run by the lake. I ran north along the water and got to a marina. There I stopped and looked back through the sailboats at the skyline. AMAZING! So pretty and amazing! Then I go a sandwich and headed to read at the beach. I ended the day with dinner with a different dear friend. What a great day.

This morning on my run, I watched as the crossing guard waved at all of the cars that drove by. Then he waved at me as I ran by. (don't worry, I wasn't crossing the street) How nice. I am curious how many of the people that he waved at he actually knew. How many of them drive by him at the same time each day? Or are they neighbors of his, as he probably lives close to the school?

These past few days have been so hot that you feel as though you are melting when walking outside. AH. Makes for a very good sticky run though, like you have really worked out. And gives the only legit excuse for being inside on such a pretty day. It is too hot to be out for long.

Nice Days

2011-07-09T16:20:00.000-07:00

This week, I went on my boat. It was a perfect day for it. No wind, nice calm water as I paddled and floated. Then I got to go and spend time watching fireworks with good friends. On Tuesday, I had a perfect day too. I went with a friend to Devil's Lake, a beautifully rock cliff surrounded lake. I got to hike, swim, lay in the sun, eat good food, and read. Amazing. And I had a VW Beetle as a loaner car and a new cd for the drive. Good stuff and great time with friends!

Wednesday was a concert on the square. I rode a bike down to the Capitol where everyone picnics on the lawn and listens to the music. The lawn is always packed with people and their variety of picnics. One group I saw had to have been about 12 people in a really big circle with their food and wine in the middle. The couple next to us was playing Farkle.

Thursday, I got to see Ray Lamontagne at the Overture Center. I had never been there before. Beautiful space. And we sat in the very top row. The acoustics were incredible! His voice is soooo gooood.

Yesterday I had 2 soccer games to play in in the evening, with no girl subs for most of it! Sadly, we lost both games. But it is great to get to play outside.

Today I tried to go out on my boat again, but it was too windy. I was out on the water for a very short time. My boat is so light (that's what happens with an inflatable one) that the current and wind really carry it. It is funny to carry the boat normally, and extra awkward when the wind blows it. I carry it with one side of it propped on my shoulder and holding onto the handle. The wind kept catching it and making me stop as I had trouble walking forward into the wind. I abandoned the boat idea quickly today, took it home, and went to sit and read at the little beach by the zoo. A lovely afternoon.

A full week of a lot of goodness, and sweet summerlike times.

Changes

2011-06-10T12:23:00.000-07:00

The sun finally came out. Today it is hiding again. Quite a shy sun this year so far.

Monday was my birthday. Welcome to 28 me. Some friends and I went to Lazy Jane's for breakfast. Yum! It is a great place, one where the furniture is mis-matched, as are the dishes. You order at the counter, walk away with your coffee and scone, and wait for them to call your name for the order. They shouted "Happy Birthday Chelsea" when the food was done. Fun! And a blessing that I had friends who could make a Monday morning breakfast.

I spent time in the sun that day too. Read a book. What a good relaxation.

That evening, I had people over to drink sangria and hang out on our back porch. I want shopping at Trader Joe's before that to get the supplies. The man ringing out my order asked me what I was up to that day. I told him it was my birthday and what I had been up to. He walked away. When he came back, he had flowers! Could I love Trader Joe's any more?

When I started this blog, I named it "Adventures of Chels" because I was going to conquer the world. Life has been more reality than that in the last few years though. I feel like I have grown up a lot in Madison: learned to pay bills, make decisions about where to live, what paths to pursue at work, what to give time to, where to give money and how to deal with things that don't go my way. Not easy. There are a lot of moments that are so normal, some good small moments, some great, and some difficult. Life is a grand adventure always, just not always in any dramatic way.

I learned last week that I have been anemic. That is great news actually. I have been weak and frustrated by that for a long time. The most frustrating part was running slowly. I crept along, it was terrible. My body felt really heavy and just wouldn't move. I look forward to feeling well. It is strange how there can be something in life that is not right. And then it gets a little worse, and then a little worse, gradually though, so you almost don't notice it changing. A few days into taking iron pills, I felt a bit better. (not all the way, but noticeable) I drove home Sunday evening, singing loudly and feeling supremely happy and hopeful. So here's to the sun coming back, and me getting back to myself too.....

Vacation

2011-04-24T09:55:00.000-07:00

I got to go away to Albuquerque and see family. And I got to see sunshine! This winter was too long and cold. So getting away was great. And seeing family does not happen enough, so is always a joy.

We hiked up a mountain to go into the hot springs. Funny that you walk through the woods for a while and then have a soak in the hot springs. Right in the middle of the woods!

Now I'm back in Madison and it's Easter. The day Jesus defeated death and brought hope once and for all. Oh happy day! Even better than the winter being over and the sun shining.

Grown Up Choices

2011-04-06T16:59:00.000-07:00

There are times when I wish there was a magic decision maker. Something or someone that you would just hand your life and decisions to, and they would sort it out and hand it back and everything would always turn out, and all annoying details would be sorted out. Also, the magic would make it so that if you were buying something, instantly you understood the pros and cons, you got the best price, and whatever you bought never broke. Would be nice.

Sometimes, I think like there is a cosmic right answer when really there is not. Other times, there are details to deal with in making a decision that I would rather not have to contend with.

The joys of being a grown up. Groan.

There is praying about decisions and praying about life and that helps and is important, but part of what is good for us is probably learning to sort all of the dumb details, paying attention, and researching. And there are times in life, lots of them when there is not a right or wrong answer, some better than others, some clearly wrong, and most somewhere in the middle. So you pray, you listen, you talk to other people, and think. And then let go and hope for the best. This is an important step. Dwelling on a past decision does no good. It is not helpful. Reflect and move on. Live in the now. And there will be a new decision coming your way anyways.

Productivity and Creativity

2011-03-18T12:43:00.000-07:00

I have been doing great lately getting projects done that I have wanted to do for ages. These canvas were purchased 3 years ago. And not they are done! And I will have more to hang on the wall in my room, the poor blank walls.

When I went to the store to get the paint though, I feel in love. An art shop! I haven't been in one in a while. All of the great things, unlimited projects just waiting. Aisles of paints, markers, brushes, papers, etc. Amazing! Canvas were on sale, so now I have more. So much for being done.

Creativity is so good. What a nice release. It is a good time in life of experimentation, of doing something, and not really knowing what the outcome will be. Taking things a step at a time, and then going from there. And yes, at any point it could get really messed up and ruined, so there is a little bit of a fear of that. But mostly there is a curiosity. What is going to happen next? What will be the outcome? What needs to be added? When is it done? Being creative is good time with God too, as ultimate creator. It is neat to get to create too.

This time of not knowing the outcome, but seeing it unfold one step at a time, could teach me about having patience in life. What if life is more like creating a painting? Taking things one step at a time. Waiting with excitement as it forms. Changing plans or tact if it gets messed up. Ultimately, having a good time and being present in it. Of course when you are creating, there is some thought of what the outcome will look like, a rough plan, but the plan is flexible and changing. It usually doesn't look exactly like it did in your head. But it is real, it is done, it is something that you got to be a part of. And sometimes it's even better than the original plan. Life as creativity, I like it.

Moving On

2011-03-12T17:53:00.000-08:00

Spring is a good time of moving on, of knowing that the winter is over, that there will be sun and warmth soon. I love the first glimpses of Spring, the melting of snow, the sun reflecting in the puddles, and the feeling that everything will be okay. In the spring, there is nothing but possibilities. I love that. Possibilities and new beginnings. (and the knowledge that you survived winter again, hooray!)

For me this year, it is a time of sorting out what to do next. I didn't get the job that I wanted that seemed so perfect for me. It wasn't, or I wasn't perfect for it, or now is not the time for it. In any of these instances, Spring is a time for dreaming big for something else.. Oh new beginnings....

Sewing and Dinner

2011-03-06T20:58:00.000-08:00

I got to call my Grammy this week. I was going to sew pillows (the front one in the picture) and I needed to know how to change the tension on the machine or what the tension should be in the first place. Yay for Grammy! We used to have sewing days where we would buy a pattern that was supposed to take an hour to make, and spend the whole day together working on it. I loved those days! And I love that she is so good at it that I can ask over the phone where things are and what the settings should be and she can talk me through it. Fantastic! We each have those things that we are so versed in, that you can see it in your head and explain the picture in a way that the person who is in front of said object can work with it. Neat.

The pillows have been on my list of things to do for three years now. And they are done! Hooray. I am checking off my list of crafty things that I have been building for years. Time to get them done!

And I got to have people over for dinner, something that I love to do! I turned on loud music, and had such a good time worshipfully preparing the food. Good God moments. Precious. And when the people came and ate the food, they enjoyed it too, which is excellent. Making food and having a bunch of people over is definitely the kind of experience that gives me a lot of life, you know those times when you are doing something that it feels like you were meant to do. I love cooking when you are planning what to make, then making a mess of the kitchen as the preparations start, and thinking through the timing of everything, and praying that things (food, people enjoying and talking) will turn out. And I love people sitting around a table, enjoying. It is temporary and experiential art, and I love it! I had help too in the set up, and other people did the dishes in the cleaning up. Wow. Good times.

The Wait

2011-02-20T12:42:00.000-08:00

There are times in life when there is nothing that you can do but wait, like in the instance of applying for a job. The application is turned in, and the wait has begun. I feel good about it though, I feel like I gave a good effort. So we shall see.

Now is another raining slushy day to relax, to paint my nails, have lunch with a friend, and go to church. I took a walk in the slush today and am convinced that I will always be a person who is perpetually the little kid that really just wants to jump in the puddles with valiant splashing. My boots are waterproof, so though I did not fully engage in splashing, I did walk through all of the biggest puddles.

An interesting quote that I found today says, "Your outlook on life is a direct reflection of how much you like yourself." I think there could be truth in that, as if you love and accept yourself and see the image of God within you, you are more apt to be loving and accepting of others. Thoughts?

Productivity in the Rain

2011-02-17T13:42:00.000-08:00

Today is a rainy, feels like Spring kind of a day. I set off to a coffee shop, armed with my computer, this morning with goals of productivity. Instead of starting on my projects right away, I read the paper. (the parts talking about the happenings in government in Wisconsin now. Also, I learned that Borders is closing a third of their stores) Then I ordered some new boots, talked to my sister, searched for flights to Albuquerque to see her, perused Facebook, emailed people, looked at different eyeglasses online, (maybe I'd like some brown, responsible looking ones) and looked over the new 24-7 Prayer American website. Whoa distraction!

Then I got to work, serenaded by Pandora radio of course. My Joe Purdy station and Mumford and Sons station too.

And things went well. I am having another chance in life to apply for a traveling job, to take a risk in trying to get something that I want. The job would be great and difficult too. As always, risks and applying for things and putting yourself out there, are good opportunities for growth. There is potential to shine brightly and be noticed and there is potential for it not to work out. What a thrill.

A few years ago, I would have have said things in this way. The rejection that could be associated with the possibility of not getting it would have crippled my efforts in application. God is good in teaching me about risk and joy and how this can be a thrill. Plus in putting yourself out, you get to see others opinions and be encouraged or challenged by that. Neat.

A Little Small Town

2011-01-07T11:41:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I walked to the little pharmacy on the corner in order to get some sticky tack. (I hung Hipstamatic photos on the wall, hooray!)

When I got home from my pharmacy and Trader Joe's shopping trip, I looked in my purse where the sticky tack was supposed to be. Alas, it was not there.

So I walked back to the pharmacy to see if I had left it on the counter. Sure enough, there it was sitting off the the side with the note attached. (written in cursive!) I think this is great.

Growing Roots

2011-01-06T10:28:00.000-08:00

I have been in Madison for three years now. Whoa. That is a long time. But not at the same time. The thing that happens the longer you stay, so I have found, is that you grow more roots. And really this is a good thing. More friends, more favorite spots, more moments with God, more experiences, favorite running routes, and repeating experiences, building mini traditions. These are good things.

But I get scared. All of these good things, and the growing of roots, would make it harder to move away. But the thing of it is, I don't know for sure that I will move, nor is it worth worrying about now and putting a damper on the here and now.

So time to just live, and be and see what happens. Time to continue relationships and build new ones. To run in my favorite spots and explore other ones. To go to concerts, to have gatherings, to get to know people more and more. And the future will come when it comes and bring with it things that I don't need to know right now.

The Cold

2010-12-08T07:53:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I was walking outside on my way to work and it was cold. I was thinking about how I should probably get out my really warm hats, and gloves. It is December after all. And it has been chilly. I think I have it in my head though, that the longer I wait until being fully winter decked out, the better chance I have of making it through without freezing, as if the winter continues to get colder. It is interesting, but not true logic.

So the same day that I was thinking I should have my warmer things out, I went straight from work to bell ringing, standing outside with the Salvation Army bucket shaking the bells. I was not prepared for the cold. I didn't think far enough ahead that day, and hadn't read the part of the email that said that we were for sure outside. Brrrr..... There were a few times that I left my bell ringing buddy and walked inside to thaw for a few minutes. We took turns every so often popping inside for a few moments to make our toes less painful.

It was a good experience though. I learned to be better prepared when standing outside. Also, when people see the bucket and the bells, they are generous. It was neat to get to see.

While we were standing there, thinking about going home and making a warm cup of tea and getting warm, it made me think of people who don't have that luxury. I was outside for about 2 hours. What about those people that are outside for the whole night?

More Madison love, shiny boots and a new cd

2010-11-29T19:51:00.000-08:00

I had a good day today. Slept in, read, drank coffee, went for a run. Then I went to Trader Joe's and stopped by the cd shop on the way. I purchased the newest cd by the Weepies. After going to their concert last month, I figured I should support them with the cd purchase and listening. Plus we have a cute cd shop. I would like that shop to stay there. Therefore, I should go there and purchase a cd once in a while. The people working there are always nice, friendly and helpful. I got my cd in just a few minutes. I was so excited about the experience, that he asked if I wanted him to open the cd. I said yes, just cause someone was offering assistance and that is a nice thing to do. Really though, if I had been thinking, I can open my own cd and it is kind of like opening a package, peeling back the wrapping. But oh well, he had a fancy cutter that sliced the plastic and it was kind of neat.

Then I went to a listening station to hear a cd. The station is a cd player (an old big black one) with headphones attached and a lot of cds leaning on each other on the top. (perhaps they are sorted by genre or name or something, surely they are) So you get the cd out of its case and put it in the cd player...... Last time I used a cd player, other than the one in my car, probably years. I had to stare at it for a minute to find the right buttons. (never found volume, not sure it existed) The open and close button was temperamental. Pushing the button took a couple tries to open it. And then when I tried to push the button again to close it, it was over zealous and would close and open again. It was great, a nice challenge and a nostalgia for cd players, especially finicky ones. Or maybe that was just my luck they they were finicky for me. I was bad at cds, always scratching them. Digitizing music was good for me, keeps it safe. And then I have to laugh at myself too, because cds are still a normal thing and here I am like they are a old nostalgic used to be item. Odd.

I like that I could walk to the cd shop, then Trader Joe's, run into people that I know there, have a wander, then stop by a pharmacy on the way home. A nice little walk as it drizzled this evening. And good time, relaxing and taking the day at a slow pace. (my roommate thought I got lost somewhere) Taking time is so important. Life is busy and fast enough most of the time. So taking slow times, enjoying little things is really good.

I also sowed buttons back on my coat, cleaned our kitchen light, and put mink oil on my boots. They look good!

This evening was life group. I really like getting to be a part of people's lives and having them in mine. Catching up on life, talking about the sermon at church, really nice.

Madison is a good spot! (remind me of that once there is tons of snow or it gets really cold) It was a good day.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T06:39:00.000-08:00

There are always lots of things to be thankful for. This year, I am thankful for family, friends, living in Madison, having a good job, loving where my apartment is, church, vacations, good coffee, good food, running routes and bike paths, and all of the little things that go unnoticed but are important, like having the resources for the things that I have, being able to pay bills, having good health (after having systemic poison ivy, I am always thankful to not be itchy), and sunshine, beauty, freedom. There is a lot.

With all of these good things, I don't understand when people have poor attitudes or whine about everything. Of course there are times when life is hard, of course there are things that you have to do that you don't want to. I am not saying that we should go around with fake smiles or anything like that. But being grateful and not getting caught up in the little things. Seeing life for the blessing that it is, instead of finding the things that are going wrong. Seeking joy, not bitterness and complaining. Why not see the good side of how things are? Or if there is something that you have to do that you don't want to, why not go through it with the best attitude you can? Dragging your feet and finding fault does not help and certainly doesn't make it better for you or anyone around you.

I got to go to North Carolina last weekend (that's where the photos are from, neat stairs in a coffee shop, and a window display for coffee cozies). When I was in the airport in Madison, I talked to my sister on the phone, and we learned how different our traveling is. She prints boarding passes, confirmations, directions, and other information, and keeps it in a folder. I appreciate that organization and beforehand planning. But that is not me. I check in online the night before, but don't print anything usually. (sometimes the boarding pass) And I figure that I will sort the rest when I get there anyway. I do some research online before I go, and may make a note of something, perhaps. I made the comment during our conversation, that I travel even less prepared than I used to, because I have my iPhone and can look up stuff when I get there.

One time, I was flying from London to Detroit. I got to the airport and put my credit card in the self check-in machine. It didn't work, wouldn't find me. So I got some help from the lady working. She asked me for my confirmation number..... "I don't know", fight number..... "don't know"..... um.... "I am going to Detroit, does that help?"

Oh man! The lady was really nice about it though. I was laughing at myself, who travels without that information? She said I was a traveler of the future, where we are so used to not needing it. After that, I would take basic flight info with me while traveling. (now in an electronic form, but look at me being prepared!)

Running into People

2010-10-21T16:00:00.000-07:00

I love living in a city that you can walk around and run in to people that you know. Last night, while walking to dinner and back, I saw a few people that I knew. Then today, at the end of my run, I saw someone else. What a great surprise it is! And how it makes the city feel more homey and welcoming. It also makes it feel like I have been here a while. If I can wander around and run into people that I know, then that means that I know people. Duh, but still. I have been here nearly three years though, which in my world is pretty much forever.

Variety and Thankfulness

2010-10-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

I like the variety that life has to offer. Last week, I went to Chicago for a day, spent time with great people, wandered around the city and went to a concert. Then the next day, I went for breakfast at my favorite coffee shop, then went camping, came back the next day and went to work. I like that there are always new experiences and new people. Or old people to get to know in a new way. There are new seasons in life as well as in weather. (winter, you can wait as long as you want to come)

And there is always a great sense of unknown that balances with the familiarity of the everyday.

I live a blessed life for sure and I am very thankful of it. I have great family, friends, apartment, car, enough money, joy in small things, a nice city to live in, a fun and challenging job, good life experiences, and thousands of things that I have not mentioned. Thank you God.

Life is a mixture of being present in the moment, being thankful and learning from the past, and keeping your eyes open for the future. A grand adventure!

Doing things you're not good at

2010-10-01T14:29:00.001-07:00

It is difficult to do things that one is not good at. But it is thrilling at the same time, trying new things. Nowadays, I have joined an ultimate frisbee team. I had no idea how official the whole thing would be. Or all of the terms and strategies that I would need to know. My team is very gracious with me, taking the time to teach me, and not looking at me like I am dumb when I ask the most basic of questions. So that is nice.

It is frustrating though, to not really know what you are doing, to run around, not doing much that is super helpful. (but having good effort in in none the less) I feel like if I understood more what was going on and what my contribution should be, then I would be better. And I'll get there I think. After all, I have been playing for just a few weeks. But you how you just wish that you could be good at everything right away? And who knows if I will ever be good at frisbee anyways.

The important part really is the stepping out, the trying something new. The being willing to do poorly in order to learn and grow. The challenge of trying something new in order to learn a new skill, or outlook, to get a new experience.

In order to try something, you need to chance failure. And perhaps things will not go poorly, but just amazingly. Even better! But to know if you are any good at something, or in order to try something new, you take a chance and a risk. And it is so worth it!

Living Far Away

2010-09-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

A little bit ago, I got to go to Michigan and see my family. It is so nice to be with family, to spend a few days laughing, relaxing, eating, playing cards, whatever. It is always sad to leave too and gets me to thinking..... why do we all live so far away? In some ways, the ability to live in different places is a great blessing, we get different opportunities, get to experience new things, and have different places to visit. On the other hand, it makes me envious of the people who have family just a few hours or miles away. It takes me 8 hours to drive to see my mom, my sister and dad are plane rides away. This is sad. And yet, we are in our respective locations for good reason. Also, because we don't know the length of time that any of us will be in said location, it does not give much bartering power to convince others to move. (plus I lose out strength of argument by living in Wisconsin with the frigid winters.)

So it is what it is. I love my family dearly and cherish the time that we do get to have together. And the phone calls during the rest of the time.

Loving People Near and Far

2010-08-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a talk from my church. It was talking about how the health of our relationships with people is reflective or our relationship with God. Makes sense.

Also, they talked about how people in America are so geographically far apart from each other. How you get in your car to drive to work, then drive home, drive to the store, to the other side of town to see a friend, and then somewhere else. There was a statistic that people spend an average of an hour and a half in their car each day. That's a lot!

What are ways nowadays to build real relationship? With so many people being so mobile, people are living all over the place. Email becomes a good way to keep in touch, maybe a paper card (real mail!), calling works but you have to coordinate schedules. And there are so many people that you don't get to see nearly as often as you would like, people that you miss deeply. It is neat though that there is so much opportunity to meet and connect to people all over the place. There are relationships that are seasonal, there is depth and connection for a season of life. There are relationships that come and go, ones that you are close with for a while, then not for a bit and then are again later. And then there are the relationships that will always be close, even in seeing each other is not that frequent. The people that when you see them, instantly it is as if you have always been in the same room, like no time passed in between visits. I love those! That the connection that you have is there no matter if you haven't seen each other or spoken for a while.

Relationship and connection to other people is so important. So vital. It is simple and hard at the same time. Simple, just take time to love people, to hear them, to care, to laugh. Hard, cause there is vulnerability and busy lives, different priorities and interruptions. But oh so important and needed.....

I want to be able to walk to a friends house like I did in elementary school. When I was little your best friends we people that you could get yourself to. Maybe I should go wander around the neighborhood to make friends, get a sandwich sign, "wanna be my friend?"

I think the important part in any relationship, one with God or people, it just taking the time for it. Simple really.

A story that is not super important but is my Madison

2010-08-02T09:25:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I went to Trader Joe's. I love Trader Joe's. As I was buying my groceries, I had a confused look on my face because I thought that maybe I was forgetting something. So that started a conversation about how I just live down the street so really could come back should I need something. I get to walk to my grocery store! I love it!

Also, we were talking about the coffee shop that closed across the street. It made me sad that I didn't go there for a "last time", when you go knowing that it is the last time. We stood there conversing about the shops and what may go where and how great this neighborhood is. Then the guy raised his hand "knuckles" so we hit knuckles and I left for my day amused.

I love little things like that. I love conversations with people that you don't know. Some that you will see again and some that you won't. I met a lady in a coffee shop line once that was a crossing guard. She has been doing that for 15 years or some other long period of time. I have an affinity for crossing guards, I think they are neat. It is great how you can talk to someone and learn something new, or pass some time, or make a connection that makes the world less about individuals and more about relationship. I like too when you meet someone who knows someone, who knows someone you know. The interesting web of connections.

Things Changing

2010-08-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

There are many things in my life that have changed recently. I have a new roommate, a new house, new people to work with. And the 24-7 Prayer Boiler Room that I moved to Madison to be a part of is ending. It is ending because a lot of the people are leaving Madison. These are not bad things. A season of change though.

It is interesting that I came to Madison to be a part of starting this community thing called a boiler room. As I was here though, I was learning different things, my time was committed differently than I was expecting too. I thought that I would come to Madison, get a part time job, and do work with the boiler room and the wider 24-7 communities team. I didn't know anything about Madison when moving here and also didn't know how long I would stay. I didn't think much about the city before moving here, not that I thought bad of it, I simply gave it no thought.

Now, I love the city of Madison. (I keep discovering more things to love about it- most recently, restaurant week, concerts on the square, and I had Michael's Frozen Custard today, yum!) I like being here in this city, I like the bike paths, the people, the food, the pretty lakes, so many things to love. I work full time at a job that is great, a good challenge and always changing. I have good friends here too, excellent!

And now I am wondering what the next season is going to look like. What/who will I be committed to? There are a lot of things shifting and changing, this could also mean growing in different ways, taking different risks, seeing different dreams happen. Any thing is possible. Also, there is a very big God who knew all of this was going to happen, and knows what is next. He is not spoiling the surprise though, as I have to wait for life to unravel in its time.

If only

2010-07-20T07:10:00.000-07:00

This week an opportunity came up to go to Spain. If only I knew spanish. They were looking for spanish speaking people. I have been wanting to learn spanish for quite some time now but have yet to actually do it. If only I had....

This got me wondering how many things are a someday kind of thing. What I mean by that are those things that we want to do or learn, places to go, people to meet, books to read, hobbies to start, crafts to complete. I have certain crafts now that I have a timeline on. If they are not done by Christmas, I am throwing away the supplies for them. As simple as that. Get it done or move on. De-clutter and stay simple.

What I am pondering now is what things are okay being a someday thing, and what things should have more of a goal and practicality to them. There are so many things that it would be neat to do and not everything can be done, especially at the same time. So really, it is about remembering what is important, using some discipline to get things going, and follow through to get it done.

Let's talk about the spanish example for a minute. I have been wanting to learn for some time now. I took some courses in college. And downloaded the coffee break spanish podcast a few years ago. I only listened to a percentage of them. I thought about looking for a class around, but didn't follow through on that and don't know that I would have the time. So yep, it's one of those someday things, that may have to work it's way to a now sort of thing...... someday. Hopefully that someday is soon.

Boating

2010-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

I really like floating on the water, the feeling of floating, and the sunshine there, and the water rippling gently. So I had the idea of buying an inflatable boat. Less investment and seriousness than a kayak, and there is space inside to lay down to read a book or to have a friend come too. I just wanted it to be able to float on the tiny lake that is by my house.

On Sunday, it was supposed to be really warm, so I assembled the boat and oars, packed up my sunscreen, water and book, grabbed the floatation device/seat cushion and started the walk across the street and park to the water. This began the list of things that I had not considered in my planning. The day was fairly windy and here was me carrying an inflatable raft that acted like a little sail really. This also started the fatigue to my poor arms. And it made me laugh whenever the wind gusted and I started walking crookedly.

There are two options for where to put the boat in. Option one is off of the floating dock. This was scary as there were a bunch of people on it. The other option, which at first seemed safer is where the water gradually extends off of a ramp of pavement. The place where people can launch the kind of boats that would have a trailer. I thought this was the way to go, until I saw a truck with a sailboat that was going to start it's approach. I didn't trust my rowing skills to get out of the way in a timely enough fashion. So off to the floating dock it was. I was already wondering how many people I would need to apologize to for hitting with the mass of my boat. Miraculously, I didn't hit anyone and fairly smoothly got my boat in the water and me and my stuff inside of it. Then I had the realization that I haven't rowed a boat in a bit. But I was off! So I rowed around a bit, floated for only a few minutes at a time cause I didn't want to end up too far in the weeds.

The entire boat trip only lasted about an hour. I didn't want my poor little arms to be too tired the next day or too tired to get me back to the dock. There were some things that I did not think about beforehand that came to mind during the boat trip:

1. Carrying this boat on a windy day is hard.
2. My arms are not in shape.
3. Plastic oars that you twist together do not stay exactly where you twisted them and need to be adjusted.
4. I get seasick. This I knew before but hadn't thought about in my preparations.

My rowing turned out to be okay though. Overall, the first trip was a success. (I got to float, the boat didn't pop, I have both oars still, I didn't need rescuing, success.)

We shall see what future adventures are in store for this boat. I think it'll be good.

What’s in a name?

2010-05-17T16:32:00.001-07:00

How come it means so much when someone knows your name? It is way more personal and makes it feel like they know you. Or that they care. I love when you meet someone again and they remember your name. A validation that they know you, at least in the most superficial of ways. One step past the surface perhaps, as you have seen them at least twice, and they remember! I feel bad when someone remembers who I am and I don’t know their name, or the worst is when I don’t remember meeting them before. (sometimes I remember after the embarrassment of not remembering) Sad.

There is something to remembering names. It really isn’t that hard, but it does take a little effort. It means paying attention. It means that that person matters.

A name feels so personal, even though there are a lot of other people on the planet with the same one. Somehow it is still really special and individual and a sense of identity. “Hello, I’m Chelsea.” And somehow that portrays a lot. And people say “nice to meet you” yet really they just know your name really and maybe what you do for a living, and yet they then can say that they know you. Interesting.

How many people to we come in to contact with on a regular basis and don’t know their name. I am thinking about the people at my favorite coffee shops and grocery store. I know them by face and sometimes they are even wearing nametags, but I don’t know their names. Is this because of the normal professional distance? Expectations? Or because I haven’t bothered to learn?

Gardening

2010-05-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago, I got to help plant a garden. It was great. There was a big patch of dirt, that rows we dug out of, and bags of seeds, and even a fence set up around it to keep the critters out. Seeds are so interesting because they are so small.

What is the ratio of seeds that actually grows? And how close to the package directions do you have to get? I was planting carrots. Those seeds are so small! The direction was to plant them an inch from each other and a quarter inch under the dirt. That is really hard to do when the seeds are so small. I tried pouring some in my hand first which helped in controlling them for the most part but there was a sneeze at one point and a gust of wind at another, so there were extra seeds dropped. And many holes got more than one seed. Maybe they just wanted a friend seed to be with? I'll have to go back and check on them at some point to see if there was any success in the carrot planting procedure.

We were planting the garden for a neat organization in town called MOM. (Middleton Outreach Ministry) They will then take care of the garden (though we can go back and help) and then give the veggies away, what a great idea! It's fun to get to help out with something like planting the garden.

A few days after that, I was with a group of people who were pulling out invasive species in the arboretum. My allergies didn't like that one quite as much. Yard work is a lot more fun when you get to do it with a bunch of other people and when it is not your yard. And when you don't have a yard that you have to take care of at home. There were huge patches of this plant that the 20 or so of us got rid of in minutes. Amazing.

It is fun to get to do simple things like that for other people. It doesn't take that much effort really, just showing up and helping. Neat.

Kevin Bales: How to combat modern slavery | Video on TED.com

2010-04-20T08:01:00.000-07:00

Kevin Bales: How to combat modern slavery | Video on TED.com

Money or Time

2010-04-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

I was thinking this morning and wondering if I had the choice to have unlimited time or limitless money, which would it be?

And I decided that both if these things are good to have enough of but also good to have limits on. Because if there are limits, then you have to have priorities. Therefore you give your time and money to things that matter to you. Sometimes this is sacrificial and hard, as resources are limited. And that then is what gives it meaning and significance. You make time for things and people that you care about. Sometimes though our priorities get messed up and flipped around, therefore
needing re-arranging.

I forgot

2010-03-13T08:55:00.000-08:00

The past week or so, the snow has been melting. The snowman that used to be huge in my front yard looked rather sad, as all that was left was coal, a tie, a small pile of snow, and a wrinkly carrot. It is really nice that the season is changing. As I see the soggy ground, I think that I got so used to seeing the mounds of snow, I forgot this part. This is the season of warmer weather, of rain, of people being outside a lot more. And in Wisconsin, if it goes over 40, you see shorts and flip flops.

I enjoy seasons. I like the change and variety, the excitement for what is happening and what is coming, a reset, a refresh. So tentatively (as it could probably snow again next week) I say welcome to spring. Here comes the hope, the sun, and more people out and about the city and the bike paths.

If only we were in control.

2010-02-24T18:10:00.001-08:00

There are times in life when you are not in control of what happens, circumstances that we don't have the final say in. There is something comforting in that, but also something really hard.

It is nice to have things out of your hands because there is a peace in knowing whatever happens happens and there is nothing that you can do about it. Things are in God's hands and you just have to wait and see. In this way too, things happen that we would not expect or sometimes turn out better than we anticipated. And sometimes I like the waiting, because things are still possible, and hopeful. Especially if I am worried that something will not work out the way that I would like it too, the not knowing is a good stage. But not a permanent one and not as good as the knowing when things turn out in a way that you love.

On the flip-side though, there is the waiting. The not knowing how things will turn out or where the pieces will fall. And the thoughts that if I could just have control of the situation, then I would know how things would turn out and the waiting would be over and the whole world would work the way that I think it should.

But alas. The not being in control is better. The waiting teaches trust. The stepping into situations without being in control, taking chances and risks, teaches boldness and living without fear. And then the outcome comes when it wants to. The pieces fall in to their places, for just a little while. Then things shift again, and there is more waiting and not knowing, more people making decisions about your life, more circumstances that need to play out, more opportunities that didn't used to exist but now do. And it begins again.

The key is to be okay and excited in the unknown as well as the known. To be able to live in the present, not pausing life until everything is clear. What a dance life is, circumstances, opportunities, people, challenges, joys, all moving in rhythm together, connected and parting, shifting and changing.

The choices that we make change the choices and chances that come after that. That idea used to scare me, like somehow we could mess up, make one bad choice, like there were a lot of right and wrong choices in life. On the rare exception there are bad choices, obviously there are ethically, and morally. Generally though, one choice leads us to a circumstance that may involve a different choice. All of the sudden there are opportunities that didn't exist before. And life is richer because of this.

Oh Life

2010-01-27T18:26:00.001-08:00

Is there anyone in the world now who has some plan of their life and it actually happens? Or are most people like me. You have some ideas of what you are doing at the moment and some glimpses of where you are going. Maybe. I loved what my Dad said a few years ago.... I was debating and thinking and basically trying to figure out my life and he told me not to worry. "To figure out what you want to do right now." Not thinking so far in the future.

It makes a lot of sense. I have no control over what is out there years down the line, like my life could somehow be mapped out. There are always things that change, opportunities that arise, or interests that don't seem as interesting.

And letting go of the idea of needing one congruent line of life, means you are free to make a much richer life, not bound to the line that you thought your life would be made up of. Instead you get to dance around a bit more. It is the understanding too that God's will is not one line that you have to try to stay on like a tightrope, but more of a field in which you can go where you go. I think too, as we chose different things and options, new doors open. Or things that we never thought possible suddenly are, or something that you never thought you wanted or didn't think was you, suddenly is.

There are people who do have very specific career goals, and places that they want to live. I envy them sometimes. Choice can be overwhelming. It can be so sweet though too.

So here's to life and whatever the season brings....

My Knight in Florescent Yellow

2010-01-04T15:37:00.000-08:00

There is a crossing guard that stands on the corner of Monroe Street and Edgewood. He is great and very handy to have around. As I run towards him, "going straight over?" Me, "Yep." And so he steps in to the road, raising he sword (or stop sign in this case) and the cars obey and stop and I safely cross the street. Thank you very much crossing guy. He always seems happy too. Really neat. My knight for sure.

What is a life of prayer? What is praying constantly, like Paul talks about in the Bible? Perhaps it is living life with an awareness of God's presence. Like running being great time with God. Or living thankfully and generously. Living a life where people matter, where relationships are key, and where you are real. Reality in shortcomings and in joys. And perhaps the key is presence, being in the here and now wherever that happens to be. That would be the best way to see God there too. If you are not there (your thoughts are thinking about what you are doing later, or on your ten year plan, or daydreaming, or thinking about everything that happened yesterday), how can you expect to see him there? Living in the moment, all the moments, the big ones and the little ones too.

Snow with a 9 year old

2009-12-29T16:33:00.000-08:00

Snow becomes alot more fun when there is a little kid around who loves it. My little sister and I had snow adventures. One the night of the 23rd, we had to move my car so that I would not get a ticket. It had been parked on the road and we decided to move it in to the garage. The problem comes that my car is not the tallest of cars. And the snow was just high enough to be a problem. So we prayed for safe travels, armed ourselves with scrappers and got to work. And got stuck turning around on the street. Then got to the driveway and got stuck in the end of it. Then finally got in the garage. After which, we did a victory dance and made snow angels. Great fun. And a bit thrilling as we were stuck a few times and I didn't want us to slide in to anything while she was in the car. (not like I want to hit things normally, but you know how your senses get a bit higher when there is a little person involved.)

She was a great help for the next few days of getting the ice off of the driveway and sidewalks too, until she got bored or distracted. Then we would have snowball fights or I would throw her in the snow. I hung her upside down over the snow. And dropped her in it a few times. Then I asked her if she wanted me to fall in the snow too, which of course she did. So I fell in the snow too. She built two snowmen. One for me and one for her. How sweet! Mine had tomatoes for the eyes and mouth, and a zuchinni end for the nose. There are sticks for arms. For the pictures that we took, she knocked the head off of her snowman so she could be the head. How do kids think of this stuff? Great fun.

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

2009-12-11T16:52:00.001-08:00

This is a good letter by Shane Claiborne.

What If Jesus Meant All That Stuff?

Posted using ShareThis

snow day

2009-12-09T07:37:00.001-08:00

Today is a day o' snow. Last night our upstairs and next door neighbors made a giant snowman, one that got taller through the night. The snow is beautiful and peaceful. It is interesting that in people, lots of snow causes several different reactions, panic, calm, excitement for days off, for snowmen and snowball fights, snow angels, etc. And the laughter and perhaps hot chocolate that goes with that. Also, people seem to be there to help each other during a big snow. People start shoveling and there is someone else there to help, or someone gets stuck and there is someone to push them out. Last night, two guys from work cleared off my car before I got to the parking lot and two others had to push my car that did not want to leave the parking lot it looks like. A time I wish I had a Jeep, plus how fun would driving around running over snow.

There was a snow plow that I saw this morning that got stuck in a driveway. Another truck with plow came with a chain and pulled him out. (which is really nice cause it turned out that the plowing person that was stuck was the one to plow our street)

I just love when people come out of their individualist selves to come together for something. It's nice. And helping in the snow is something that you can't help but do. And I love that a snow day makes every thing stop, everyone move slower. There are so many things that can't be done, gives you more time to rest, to reflect and to spend time in the snow.

Why I love soccer

2009-12-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

On Friday during soccer, I was thinking about why I like it so much and I have a thought. I am sure that it is a lot of different pieces, including getting to run around, being on a team, having a schedule to getting some exercise. But what I really like is how much it relies on instinct. You move where you go, you go where you think the other people or the ball will be. There is not time to think, just act. It is very fun and freeing. Maybe a lot of the same things that I like about dancing, how you don't really focus on what you look like or what you will do next, moreso you are in the moment and moving within that. Oh how fun. Now how to live like that all the time?

You couldn't in some senses cause there are things in life that need planning and preparation, but the freedom of getting just be in the moment. I like it. I also like stealing the ball from the other team.

Dancing and Eye Makeup

2009-12-02T09:51:00.000-08:00

It is hard to dance and put on eye makeup at the same time, in case you ever wanted to know. The trick is that you can dance harder when putting more color on the brush. Dancing should be done a lot more than it is. Maybe that just means that I need more little dance parties in my house, makes you wake up in the morning for sure.

And what fun. There is that quote where a part of it says to dance like no one is watching. Very fun and freeing. You could dance around looking like an utter fool and no one would ever be the wiser.

I found this on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM and there on tons like it. Times when it is choreographed for large groups to do some interesting dance together. Oprah even did one at here season premiere. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjRnuiKql-E I love the flashmob dance things. Somehow they are exciting.

One of my dreams is to have been in a musical movie, like singing in the rain, getting to dance the good morning song. Being the girl you get to wear a pretty dress/skirt and dance around. How fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA3OnIYW5u4

It is funny the odd dreams and interests that we each possess. If you had three wishes of things that are really not easily possible, what would they be? What would you do? Or where would you be?

Calling Customer Service

2009-11-28T11:07:00.000-08:00

I do not enjoy calling customer service. I find it annoying and time consuming. Not to mention, most places are only open on the weekdays when it using my cell phone minutes, and I don't have any to spare, especially for something so ridiculous. AH.

I have a cable to play my iphone in the car, and it broke. I had one before, and it broke too. Being the wise person that I am, I bought a new one of the same thing. Duh. So I called Belkin today to see what is possible, waiting on hold for 20 minutes to find out I had gotten myself to a tech support person, who told me to call customer service. Um, I thought I did. And he would not transfer me to the right spot. 20 minutes wasted. Then I called the number back. And turns out they are not there on the weekend and told me to go to the website. On the website, you have to make up a user account if you want to email anyone. But you can request a product replacement, but have to pay for shipping the product there. Then wait for UPS ground to get a new one to you. Option 2 is paying more for the replacement, and speedy shipping, then sending the broken one back after that. These are not really great options. It is making me thing that I should just buy a new one of a different brand and be done with it that much quicker. And I would tell Belkin that, if ever I could get through to someone. Yuck. Also, it may take 20 days for it to ship. Makes me think how attached I am to listening to ipod music in the car. I have cds or radio and could do that. I am ridiculous too and spoiled by the ipod. Maybe it would be a good experiment to have a silent car for a month.

On a different note, the Blockbuster is closing, not that I went there often (maybe a few times a year, which could explain why they are not sticking around) but they seem like a business that should be around.

I ran 10k the other day. And it was fun to do it. I would like to be more in shape and more disciplined about running. And I would like to try more, and train properly and be a bit more serious about it. I haven't been before because I get distracted easily. So wish me luck now, and setting aside time, and hoping that the winter allows me to still run outside. Running is so good, so good. I also learned that it is a bad idea to drink pop the day before a big run. I don't drink pop that often but somehow decided that it would be a good idea the day before.

And the rain stopped

2009-10-29T17:12:00.000-07:00

Today it was raining all day, and then when I went for a run, it was pretty much done. That left a great set-up for this run. The air was a perfect not hot, not too cold, the sky was sort of grey/white, which made such a pleasant back drop for the bright leaves on the trees and ground. The run takes me though the Arboretum, on a straight road canopied by tall trees now in their fall splendor. A few miles in I heard footsteps of another runner about to pass me. (note to self, be faster, so people don't pass) I made a comment about how the rain stopped for his run, to which he said that he had taken it up with God and would share his good fortune with my run too. This was such a fitting comment, as at the beginning of the run I was thanking God for the good weather and beautiful surroundings.

And so I had a running friend for a few miles, a nice change to my usual lone run. It made me run a bit faster too, which can not be a bad thing.

How cool that there is a God that is so personal and so huge at the same time. How he would do something like taking away the rain at the perfect moment.

I love fall, the colors of the leaves and the swooshing sound that they make under your feet.

"to live without risk is to risk not living" (from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning) The book is about trusting in God and I love this line. It doesn't mean to act foolishly or without thinking all the time, but it does mean living and moving forward in life even when the path is not known or defined or when you don't know what will happen or how things with work out or come together. Or taking a chance or risk for something that you want that is not guaranteed. And see where life takes us.... trust in God and move forward in to whatever that means. There is a freedom in life when you are not so worried about the what if, or what if not, cause whatever comes tomorrow is something that you can experience tomorrow. And God is there too.

Stop the Traffik

2009-10-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

There are prayer rooms praying for modern day slavery to end, there may even be one in Madison this month around the same them. And there is a new(er) video on the Stop the Traffik website now. http://www.stopthetraffik.org/resources/films/film_stt01.aspxf

How crazy and sad to know that there are people in the world that would sell other people. And how crazy too that this is a problem that is so big, that it often stops people from doing anything because it seems too large. Awareness is a good step forward. And then one step at a time after that.

Olympic Hopes

2009-10-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

In Chicago there were a lot of banners and publicity around their bid to host the olympics in 2016. It looked nice. There were banners and posters. In the airport, there were walls dedicated to the cause. It was surreal and a little strange to be walking through the airport on the day that it was announced that the olympics would not be held there. There was a lot of cost and a lot of effort that the city put forth to make a case for hosting the events. It got me thinking about things in life that don't work out. I used to always be afraid of taking chances where you have to step out in things and make steps forward in saying that you want something to happen or putting things in place that would be helpful in the event that what you wished did come true. Cause how silly do those 2016 Olympic hopeful banners look now?

But I think that this is not the right way of looking at it because there are many dreams in life that are worth stepping out in to, even if they don't work out. Where you dream for it, plan for it, and take the chance. If you don't take a chance, then it is not going to happen for sure and if you do, then it could and wouldn't that be great. I think that taking chances in life, scary as they can be, are worthwhile, one of those, you'll never know if you don't try. Or those things in life that have no way of magically happening, they need you to take steps towards the dream, and either it works out, or you learn, or you have the comfort of knowing that at the very least, you gave it a try.

Now, I am not saying that taking chances in life is easy because it could be downright discouraging, but it is worth it for sure.

What is home?

2009-09-22T19:15:00.000-07:00

What defines "home"?

Is it where you stuff is?

Is it where you can relax and just be?

It is comfort? Or people? Or circumstances?

It seems to be a place and a feeling. And some places that you live do not feel like home and some do eventually and some do automatically? So what are the defining factors? Does it have to do with the state of your soul and how settled it is time to be? Or a sense of belonging that is reliant on external factors? Or is it a rest within ones own soul, when being present is possible and delighted in, when rest is had? There seems to be something about it that is sought after and yet undefinable. A sense of peace or calling which keeps us in a spot and attaches our heart to it.

My lovely house in the great city of Madison is home right now. And I like it.

In the beginning.....

2009-09-20T09:43:00.000-07:00

" In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." Genesis 1:1-2

Whoa. Today this is blowing me away. The anticipation. Like the best thing ever is about to happen. There is darkness and chaos and power. Whoa. It makes my stomach get butterflies, like a present that you can't wait to rip open or a movie or book where the next part is coming and the suspense is so great. Or like climbing up a large incline on a roller coaster, you know that it is going to be a wild ride. As the train clicks up and up the incline, the steepness increasing, the car going slower and slower as it climbs and the pause at the top, right before you head over. This is it. It's coming and it's great. Something to be caught up in and swept away forever.

There is chaotic vastness and God is hovering. Creation is going to happen. Wow. It is so good and so hard to sit at the top of that incline when the train is about to go over. Just as reading these two verses really want to catapult you into the rest. Cause God speaks and the vastness is formed into light, and life and us. And we are then reflectors of the light and life and participate in the amazingness that is creation. Whoa.

I am going to hang out in verses one and two for a bit and be in awe. Whoa. What a powerful and amazing God. And we are a part of it. Wow indeed.

My $22 coffee

2009-09-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

I broke my french press coffee maker. While washing it, it decided to fall over in the sink and the 10 inches between being upright and on it's side was enough of a fall to break it. Grrr... Then trying to fix the situation as quickly as possible, I went to Target to buy a new one. But they did not have the $20 option, only the $40, so I did not want to get it. That meant buying coffee at the coffee shop for a few days as I checked other stores who only had the expensive one too. One morning, I went to get my coffee, and after searching the house unsuccessfully for change for the meter, chanced parking for the three minutes it takes to get the coffee.

There was a man standing by the wall when I went in and when I came out. After I came back to the car and found the $20 ticket on it, he told me that the parking guy was right across the street when I went in. Why didn't he tell me that before? I then told him that I had tried to find change and he said that I should have just asked him. Yes I should have. Why didn't I?

Now I have a french press that also have some rubber and plastic around the sides so hopefully the glass will not break this time. But add up the $20 ticket, the $25 french press and all of the coffees in the meantime, and I lost money on the deal.

Prayer

2009-09-03T19:56:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to be a people of prayer? What does it mean to have prayer as a defining characteristic in a community? What does it mean for that community to be birthed out of prayer?

I love the idea, the concept, the passionate life that is lived when every moment is a prayer, where all of life is worship to God. How much time do we spend though talking about prayer, about worship, or about community vs. the time that we spend living it?

Prayer as breathing. Breathing God in and breathing out in to life, to the everyday, the people that you meet and the ones that you know. Prayer is so inclusive too. There are not lines of who is in and who is out, like there can be in a standard community, where there are usually rings of inclusion and levels of commitment.

Life as prayer, connecting to God, being with him. And as you live out of that place, the things in life take on importance in the proper proportions. Things that really do not matter, don't. And the things that break God's heart, (those things that we can ignore if we get distracted enough) work there way in to our hearts too, softening and tweaking and re-aligning til our hearts break at those things too. And the things that are joyful, are full of goodness and joy again too.

I met a man at work yesterday who told me that life was to short and that as his age, life could be over at any point. Life is too short to not have a personality he said. He was a character for sure and had great wisdom too. Just being ourselves and having that personality that is distinctly yours is so freeing to you and the people around too. And it frees you up to care about the other people around you too. Because, if you are comfortable in your own skin, others are comfortable to relax in their skin too. How great would it be to be a person who people are free around.

What to say today

2009-09-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today is a day off and one of the first ones I have had that has not had big moving in type projects that I should be doing. (not that I did them on the other days off but they were there.) The bathroom has been scrubbed, the kitchen unpacked, the dining room chairs covered, and pictures hung. Hooray. It is so nice to get to move in and make a space home. And I love where we are living. It is good and a lot different to live with one person only instead of the many that I am used to. There other day I got asked if I lived in a different community house. Sure I do. By "community house" though, I think there definition assumes more than two people.

It is a nice sunny day today and I am going to go for a run. Oh the joys of running. The not having to do anything else, the tiredness, the endorphins, the feeling of fit-ness.

The other day I went to a custard shop and didn't have cash and there was a sign that they could not charge a card with anything less than $7. Hmmmm. So the guy asked what I wanted. "Nothing I guess." So he asked what I wanted again and gave me a dish of vanilla custard telling me to pay next time. What a nice interaction and help.

How often are people willing to be put out of place or inconvenienced to help someone else? Not like my custard is a good example of a dire situation, but I sure we can think of enough situations where the help of other people is needed. How willing are the other people? More or less willing if they are strangers to the one who needs help? Probably more willing if it is either a quick help, where the inconvenience is only for a moment, or a major emergency which conscience would not let go. And is help something that should be asked for or freely given?

I like the opening of doors for other people and picking up things that people have dropped. Those are really easy things and make people smile. And I like the interaction with a stranger where there is a smile and maybe a couple of words and you're on your way again.

But what about the times when people really need help? And we are busy and distracted by our own lives. Are we noticing? Are we taking any time to care about the situation, or just moving on by?

I think it depends on the situation and the people involved cause there are plenty of stories of heroics and kind words, and many where there is just need. So which story are we going to be a part of today?

Different languages

2009-07-06T18:43:00.000-07:00

Isn't it interesting that there can be people sparking the same language and yet communication is a process. The other day we were in a car waiting in a line of traffic after fireworks. Someone in a car further back in the line thought it was a good idea or funny to honk. Why, I do not know. And Becca said she would yell out the window that Jesus loved them. Absolutely true and something that everyone should know and experience, but probably not the best time to share such a message, yelling it out the car window in answer to the honking.

How often do we change what we are saying, more specifically how we are saying it based on who we are talking to. Like at work, I am not going to explain everything to a person who is super tech savy and I am not going to use a lot of techy lingo to someone who is not. But do you ever find yourself forgetting the context? Getting used to what you know or how you are used to speaking and forgetting to actually communicate what you are saying in a way that will be understood. Because communication doesn't count if you are the one still at the end of the conversation who knows what you were trying to say. Really you just wasted time, breathe and energy. Yet it's an effort and it takes energy, it takes caring about the other person or the message enough to change your norms and put things in another way.

Communication so important and so much to learn.

Happiness

2009-07-02T18:41:00.000-07:00

My peppermint tea quote, "Inspiring others toward happiness brings you happiness."

Yep. Can we say joy instead of happiness though, cause joy would be more long lasting and less based on circumstances.

Strawberries

2009-07-01T21:43:00.000-07:00

I went strawberry picking today. Yeah. There is something so good and right and nice about getting to pick your own food. Really nice that you don't have to take all of the time and effort to grow it and yet still get the thrill of getting to be the one to pull it from it's source. Strawberries are something that takes a bit of patience. It is hard to fill a box that is big, with berries that are not so big. It makes you somehow feel more connected to nature or something, plus it tastes amazing to get things fresh from the farm. And I like the work that goes in to it, like going and buying some already picked takes a bit of the fun out of it and would feel like cheating.

I had a nice time getting the strawberries. Also, I was assisted by the woman and man who were telling us which rows to pick from. The lady even took me to try three different kinds of berries. (I never thought of there being more than one kind.) Also, the two of them picked some of the berries that ended up going home with me. How nice and helpful of them. This one kind that I got, has white spots, on purpose. It is some sort of marbled strawberry. Yum. Now I have to figure out all what to do with 11 pounds of strawberries.

This evening was a really nice evening with housemates. There was an impromptu house dinner, with 7 people in attendance. We sat, we ate, we laughed, there was music, there was good food, and there was dinner without a rush or time limit. How nice. I will miss these parts of living with people.

Why is it that towards the end of something, you get nostalgic about it?

When things are confusing

2009-06-18T12:13:00.000-07:00

I tend to be a person who likes to know what is going on. When there is something new or coming, I like knowing about it, when there is something changing, I like the inside scoop and when there is a new adventure, I like to be involved. It is strange (though more normal really) when life does not lend itself to being figured out, when I don't know what will happen and have to wait and see. Also, when I don't know what things to commit to and what not to. How to know? Pray. Wait for pieces to fall in to place. Talk. Listen.

I am not a person who is that good at waiting. I get too excited.

Most of all though, what I am learning is that there is a great need to not take life so seriously. Not to worry so much. We can get stuck in having to figure out what is going on in our life, when really, we are such a small part of what is going on in the world. And that thing that seems big now, really will seem a lot smaller once it is over.

And overall life is good. There are a lot of things to be thankful for, and there is a God who knows more than we do, who knows what is going to happen, who loves us more than we can ever imagine. And because he loves us so much, we get to make choices in life. We have desires and dreams that have been placed in the depths of us, and we get to live out of that. To take risks, to have things not work out, to have dreams that we can't see being possible, to have surprises where what we thought was impossible is suddenly happening. And that is life.

Thoreau said that, "our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." I think dreams can be both exciting and scary. Exciting cause if we dare to think that it is possible, whoa, what a world that would be. And scary cause there are pitfalls and things that don't go the way that we want them to, or in the speed that would be preferred. Life as adventure, as seeing what can come, as looking for the best and dreaming of it.

Dancing in the rain

2009-05-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

One day last week, it was pouring rain. My housemate commented on how much she liked the current storm and how hard it was raining. So we went and played in it. The rain was pouring down and we we jumping around and landing in puddles and laughing a lot. Good times, and good to take the time to have times like that.

Priorities in life are interesting because there are so many things that we could do with out time. I don't have a tv and wonder what life would be like if I did cause I don't have extra time now. People take time, it takes time to get to know people, or to sit and have dinner, or to come home at the end of the day and catch up with housemates. This week I went to Minneapolis to meet up with people from 24-7 prayer. It was great! I love meeting people and getting caught up with people that I don't get to see as often as would be preferable. Monday night we had an amazing and relaxing dinner. Great food and lots of time eating, drinking, talking with such a great group of people. Fun times and the kind of time that fills your soul with life and encouragement, seeing where people are at, what they are up to, and joking around about whatever.

Road trips are good too, especially when I bribe myself with car snacks and coffees. I got a scone and coffee for the trip there and then one a coffee on the way back too. Yum. And time that you can't do much. I call people, listen to podcasts and music and drive. Relaxing usually. I hate the times in the car though where you can't relax and don't feel like driving or are so anxious to get there that it seems to take forever. There are certain people that are really good at soaking in the time that they are traveling, good at using the time for something. I am somewhere in between the person who hates road trips and the person that is patient during the trip. I am learning. And I like traveling so it must be done.

I like Madison

2009-05-06T15:48:00.000-07:00

Today was a great day off. It started by sleeping in a bit. Then some cereal with strawberries and coffee with soy that I didn't have to make.

Then I left the house and walked to get my hair cut. I love getting my hair cut and Thorpes, the place that I go, is great. I even was given yummy chocolate peanut butter treats. Then I walked over to Cafe Zoma, a coffee shop that just reopened with new owners. Now it is open later like a real coffee shop. Yeah. And so I sat and drank some iced coffee and wrote in my journal a little and checked my email and such. Then went to a little market and walked back home. What a great day! I love getting to have a day that I can go to places and not have to drive. What a great spot to be! And so many other people were outside too, walking, running, biking. It is great! I wonder what moving to the other side of town will be like. I'll get to walk to different things then.

I have been spoiled for sure. And to have not even have chosen this house, just to have landed in it in such a great spot. So much to be able to walk to. And finally it is warm. I got to wear a skirt and flip flops on my travels.

Now I am going to have dinner and sew a bit hopefully. It's been too long. Do you ever have those things that you want to do, and they just never seem to happen. I think it would be great to have more of a space to be able to sew. Maybe next year I'll put a desk in my room or in a corner of the dining room, then I could have a better space than the kitchen table for creating masterpieces. And maybe it would happen more often.

Madison is a great place, with lots to be able to walk or bike to. I never want to live somewhere where that is not possible. There are so many coffee places, nice friendly people. Good stuff. I need to be careful when crossing the roads though, not to get hit by people biking. I also got startled while I was waiting to cross the street, by a guy running. I jumped a little and he felt bad. Sorry running guy.

I have trouble slowing down and stopping sometimes. Like while I was sitting at the coffee shop, I was thinking of things that I need to get done. Or things that have happened. It took be a little bit to just stop and breathe. Time that does not have to be productive.

Then my day was rudely interrupted by coming home to a mess of a kitchen. AH! I hate dirty dishes out and crumbs on the counter. Yuck. I even bought the sponge at the end of a handle that holds soap. It is easy and if you wash the dish right when you use it, food doesn't get stuck. The mess of it makes me anxious. Yuck, yuck, yuck. But everyone is different and other people may be stressed out by the idea of having to wash a dish right away and may like the idea of doing a stack of them later better. So that is the price I pay for living with other people, not the end of the world. Frustrating for sure, but for getting to know people and getting to live with them, there are things that must be done, like cleaning up.

Back to Madison. I really like it here and the more that I am here the more that I like it. There is a lot of water (lakes) around and there are even docks that float on the water in many locations around the city. Like yesterday I ran down the bike path to a park on the lake and stood on a dock for a while looking at the city and the capital on the other side of the lake. Neat. Then I ran home through a pretty neighborhood. Tomorrow I may go rollerblading, something that I haven't done in years. May be dangerous. But now I am off to make a nice dinner and sew and relax.

yuck

2009-04-17T09:59:00.000-07:00

Outside it beautiful and sunny and here I am stuck in bed. Yuck. Stupid flu.

Yesterday I got to go and get a chai and then walked past where i am going to live next year. And sat on a floating dock in the lake. Lovely.

I don't like being sick and hope to be better quite soon. Yuck.

The little things going not quite right

2009-03-24T08:01:00.000-07:00

It has been quite some time since I have written cause I sprained my thumb, which makes typing difficult, awkward, and painful. So here is an entry on a rainy day.

There have been a lot of little dumb things in life that keep not going my way, so much so that my mom says that there is a cloud over my head. Yuck. Like there was a rock flung at my rear view mirror that chipped it. (I am guessing that it was a snow plow or car at night.) Then I had it fixed cause my car had to get the back bumper fixed cause two different people had hit me, one that didn't stop. And then last weekend I was driving to Kansas City and noticed that that mirror that they fixed now shakes when you go over 60 miles per hour, not really the time that you want a useless mirror. A strange thing to realize what is happening too. Suddenly you notice the cars behind you being fuzzy and jumping all over the place. Interesting. And then my health insurance is a confusing mess too. There are no doctors in Madison that I can go to. I hear there are some in Milwaukee though, only a hour or so away. Who wants to drive that far at the point that you need a doctor? All of the phone numbers are wrong, the people who answer haven't heard of the doctor you're looking for, or they don't take the insurance, or they give you a different phone number for the certain doctor you are trying to find and it turns out that they aren't taking new patients. Doesn't really help when I have a very sore hand and no one to look at it. But then there was a clinic who saved the day. They do take the insurance but I haven't seen the paperwork yet.

So I am hopeful that things will work out well soon. There are many things that are good too. I had a great weekend last weekend in Kansas City and a camp in Kansas. Nice and relaxing with lots of space to journal and sit in the sun and pray and talk to people. Was great.

My lovely car and the man that didn't stop at the right time

2009-02-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

This morning there was a stop sign with a line of cars in front of it. There was a car in front of me that stopped and so I stopped and the man behind me didn't. So now there are marks from the screws on his front license plate on my back bumper which is really sad. Compared to world hunger, not sad but in a I really love my car and it wasn't my fault so what a bother to get it taken care of way.

It's times like these that I don't want to play being an adult. I'd rather go back to the days when Dad would take care of stuff like this. I called him today anyways to make sure I was doing the right things. Times in life when responsibility is just not that great. And then it gets confusing too with insurance and estimates and the fact that I am going out of town at the end of the week anyway, so this is not really great timing to do everything when all I want to do is go to sleep for a really long time.

And why are there those days when one thing after another seems to happen. Like getting hit, which spilled coffee, getting to work and almost being late, being overwhelmed with the process of getting my car fixed, wondering if it is all going to go horribly wrong and leave me paying a lot of money for no reason, and the my phone died while on it to the insurance. I gave them all the info that I had, had to go outside to get my license plate number, then later in the day found out that I had lost the paper that had all of the important info on it. Great. Then I got home and broke the mug that was holding the coffee from this morning that had spilled. It fell out of my bag on the way out of my car once I was home. All of this happening while I have a headache caused by the bumper hitting or the stress afterwards. I just need to crawl in bed.

Such a girl

2009-01-30T16:46:00.000-08:00

I am realizing more and more just how much of a girl I am. I put on perfume and feel better about life. One of my favorite things is my shimmery and glittery lipgloss. And when it's warm, I love wearing skirts. Girl for sure. And I actually like that about me now. Like the little things in life that give life. Well add sparkles to the list. There is a lady who came into work who talks about "little luxuries" in life. Little things that are special. I can relate. I would rather have something that I enjoy than something that just gets the job done.

On a different note, but equally in the little things, why does coffee that you buy when someone else makes it seem to taste better? Or maybe it's the joy of getting it. What good experience though. I have a friday tradition now of stopping by my favorite cafe to get a coffee (and usually a muffin) on my way to work. And I get to see the same people working there each week. That is great and so important. Also, the other coffee shop that was close to our house closed, so I'll do my part to keep this one around.

I love listening to music too. Music and journalling is amazing, especially with some coffee and maybe candles. Good to just take time and reflect and be. How often do we waste time on things that don't matter but not take enough time on the things that do? Breathing in and breathing out. Everyone talks about how there is not enough time and somehow more would get done if we had more. Not quite true cause we won't get more, less sometimes perhaps. So what do you do with the time that you have?

Coming home from work, I was used to running around and being busy all day, then I drove home trying to get there as soon as possible to make it to my slot in the prayer room. Then slowing down was hard and took a little time. Interesting how we can get so wound up, at least I do. Just stop and breathe. And how you go about things changes. Like a car ride being a great time to listen to your music and chill cause you can't do anything to make it go faster.

Speaking of time, sometimes it can be so precious and those moments are worth hanging on to. Some of them can be so surreal too. Like last spring, I got to talk to my Grandma on the phone when we knew that she was dying. I didn't have time to go see her cause she may not have been there by the time I was around, so we had a phone call. What do you say when you know that that is the last conversation that you will have? Suddenly words are lost. What is there? "I love you. And thank you." That's it really. So surreal and heart wrenching, yet I am so thankful for that conversation. How special that I got to have a moment of a goodbye. How inadequate you feel at that moment. Did she know how much I loved her? Does it come across through the telephone lines? Did I express it enough while she was around? Could I have written more letters, or called more? Yes probably and yet she knew. She knew that we loved her. And that conversation was the end of that stage of our relationship. Really what do you say? Bye Grandma, I love you. And time stands still in the moment, like hanging up is too hard and just being there for a bit is all that is possible and needed. Who needs words when there are none to be had? I love you and thank you, really all the words that are needed.

Grandma believed in us. I know that. She loved us. It was so sweet that the last few years that she was around, she let us know more. She said that she loved us, she flew us home for Grandpa's funeral, so that we would be there with her. "I couldn't do it without all my girls." Sure Grandma, I'd be honored to be there for and with you. And I got to see her more in the last 6 months that she was alive than the few years before that. I am so thankful that I was in Michigan for a while and got to spend that time. That is when time is important and sweet and so hard at the same time cause this person that you love has a body that is not working up to the standard that it should be. And you knew that it was getting to be that time. And you prayed that it would be painless for her and that everyone would be able to let go, including her.

She bought me a computer, she bought me a really nice computer, saying that it would mean more when I couldn't afford it. That she would like to get to see me enjoy it while she was around. She made me scream when I found out that she was going to do that for me. People were asking what was going on and I couldn't talk. I love you Grandma and thank you.

Little Things

2009-01-26T13:37:00.000-08:00

I love how little things can mean so much and be so fulfilling, like sleeping in, yeah. And good pajamas, good coffee, a giant blueberry pancake, reading my Bible, a run. What a good day! I love to be able to take the time to do nothing and yet the nothing is so life giving and restful and oh so important. A day without a schedule, lovely. And now off for a coffee chat in a bit. Good times.

I wonder how often we miss out on getting to know and love people because we don't take the time for them, don't take the time to get to know them past the "hey, how are you?" And yet we don't have all the time in the world either. So what to do? Notes to say you're thinking of them, emails to check in, skype chats, calls, getting together when possible. With all of our technology, I wonder if it keeps us better in touch with people who are far away, if it connects us when we are not in the same location. At the same time though, does it take us away from the people and the community that are right in front of us?

So taking time for little things, reading, walking, running, saying hello and sitting down for a cup of tea.

On my iPod

2009-01-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

Who knew that there would come a day when I would be able to type a blog entry on my iPod? Craziness. Here goes nothing I guess. I heard that there is a woman writting a book on her iphone. I don't envy her. This is not that easy, though it auto-corrects which is helpful. There were people who came into work asking how to use the iPod touch that they had gotten for Christmas. They were stunned and excited about being able to check email on it; still amazes me too. Will the wonder of technology fade away? I suppose on some things it does.

Does wonder in life always fade, always need to be remembered and brought back? Without wonder, there's nothing to question. Plus it gives us a positive way to look at things, wonder, amazement, curiosity, amusement. Life wouldn't be as captivating without these things. Sometimes it does take a remembering though, remember when that situation, person, feeling, thought was new? How has it changed? A maturing in knowledge can lead to more depths in what the wondering entails, learn more that leads to more questions towards more insight which makes you wonder all the more.

Freezing

2009-01-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

How does it count as a "high" if the temperature doesn't even make it to positive numbers? It somehow forgot to warm up. Coldest days is Wisconsin in a record number of years and I get to be here for it. Oh man. Sometimes makes me wonder why I moved here, I mean why didn't I pick a nice beachy spot? Maybe next time.

It is interesting in life now that I don't have plans for moving. There is no reason that I have to leave and as of yet, nothing calling me to move somewhere else. Look at me being settled. I even own furniture. (a chair and shelf, but you have to start somewhere.) The idea of having stuff is still not one that I like.

Yesterday, my family participated in quite a techy moment. My sister and Dad uploaded pictures to my public folder. Then my housemates were watching a movie on my computer so I looked at the photos on my ipod. Crazy world for sure.

There was a lady who came to the store yesterday and said she had a philosophical question. "If we are spending so much time learning technology and using it...... what are we not doing?" At first I didn't know, then she rephrased, "What would you do if you had more time?"

I would sleep more, run more, and read more books I think.

Then the conversation turned into one about how people are wanting more community nowadays, how technologies can separate people, how it is interesting that the most popular websites are the networking ones, facebook, myspace, etc. Are we still taking the time to get to know people in unplugged world. (maybe with some background music from an ipod, like the lovely Pandora radio that I am listening to now.)

How do we stay connected to people? Email, it turns out, is a good way to schedule time.....

Life without a cell phone

2008-12-28T16:26:00.000-08:00

My phone died yesterday, as in it is out of battery juice and needs to be recharged. The problem arises that the charger is on the other side of town. Yes the other side, not in a different state or super far away, only about a half hour. There is a strange thing about Madison though, that the east and west sides might as well be the other side of the world. I always thought it was really funny that people would talk like the other side is so far and now here I am with a dead cell phone because I didn't want to take the time to go over there. To be far, it only died yesterday. And I will charge it tonight or tomorrow.

So for now, I am without a phone. A bit strange. Does make me realize how dependent I am on email anyway. But sadly the weekly Sunday Dad call has to wait until tomorrow.

I tried to get the Verizon guy to charge my phone. He didn't want the liability if it got stolen. Who's going to steal the phone that they give you for free? But I can understand I suppose. He was my hope and my try to get a phone for these days. Oh well.

That means that I didn't have my phone or internet when I was staying at my friend's house this weekend. Makes things quieter when you can't be reached. Not something that I am useful. Not that I get called all that often anyway or emails but still strange to feel cut off.

The Christmas rush

2008-12-22T12:43:00.000-08:00

What is it about life that makes us not want to wait for anything? We've been spoiled by technology, by clicking buttons and having things happen. Also when we go somewhere, we expect service right away. Wait five minutes, no way. And yet at other times, five minutes feels like nothing and flies by way too fast. Hours can pass in a blink or 30 seconds can take forever. All about the perspective and experience.

Interesting too, when you are waiting in line, what are the odds that you will actually talk to the people around you? It makes the time go by more quickly and is more entertaining, yet I don't want to bug people or bump into that personal bubble (something that may be very needed during this season)

This week at church I got to the service a little bit after it started and sat down in an empty row. The other options were sitting on the end of a row next to people. I didn't want someone who was waiting for a loved one to have a rude interruption as I take their seat. I could have just asked, but you know the days when you don't feel like it?

Then I get confronted by this guy, "why are you sitting by yourself? There shouldn't be bubbles at church." And I agree, I think that it is sad, strange and yet comfortable to leave at least a seat between you and people that you don't know. But why do we do that? We don't want to be bothered by the other people or don't want to bother them? Which way?

So I moved, sat next to someone and have a new friend. Life is funny.

A soccer player

2008-12-15T18:48:00.000-08:00

I am indeed a soccer player, a bit of a surreal experience really. Having never played before, except for a few kick around games, I now joined an indoor team. I show up to the first game and everyone else has shin guards and then I think, hmmm, that would be a good idea, and it turns out that it is required anyway. Who goes to play soccer and doesn't think of shin guards? Duh. I have some now so life is good and then I went to the store today to get some soccer socks. And the guy helping me asks, "what kind do you need?" There's kinds??? A whole new world I tell ya.

It makes me think of when people come into a new situation and how strange and odd and scary that can seem, like a new town or new to something that seems quite normal and familiar to me. I wonder how often I take the time to meet them where they are at. How often do we even realize when something is actually new and strange for someone else?

Wish me luck in soccer, I'm learning what all the whistling by the ref means and I am going to learn how to kick the ball more to where I would like it to go. So more learning..... (and hopefully not getting hurt and it would be nice if we won sometimes too.)

Questions for people

2008-12-13T19:12:00.000-08:00

If you could meet new people and ask one question, what would that question be? What would you find interesting or what do you think would tell you the most about someone in one shot? The common questions when getting to know people tell you a bit but maybe there is a question that tells you more. Common questions being, "what do you do?" "where are you from?" "how are you?"

But what if you could branch out from the norm and ask questions like "what do you wish or dream for?" "what has been the biggest blessing in your life?" "if you didn't have to work, what would you do with your time?" What kind of question do you think would reveal something about the real person that you are meeting.

A. W. Tozer says that the most important and revealing thing about someone is their view of God. That really does say a lot about someone. Do they believe in God and what is God like that they believe in? Is there a love, a fear, indifference or some combination there of? And their view of God will also affect their motivations and direction in life. That sure seems like it would be a good question.

The question would have to be something open ended and something that needed explanation. Do you have suggestions?

On the flip side and related to this thought, why is it hard for people to get to know each other and why is small talk such the norm and not progressed away from in some relationships. Is this protection or self preservation? Health in relationship or walls that we have built up?

The future and now

2008-12-09T08:23:00.000-08:00

How do you balance the here and now with hopes and dreams of the future? It is important to dream, to scheme, to look forward to what could be. It is also important to be able to be present. To enjoy life where you are at, to learn the lessons of the day. To laugh or share a story with someone, to enjoy running or playing in the snow. Also, to be able to live life without wondering about the "somedays" and the next step in life. This is hard for me. As soon as I get to a place, I think about where I will move to next or when something starts I wonder how long it will last and what will be next. This is not always bad because dreaming is good, but it can take away from being and investing here in the here and now. And maybe that is why it is hard, cause it's committing to the imperfections of now and digging in to work through them. In the dreams, things are in motion and things go well. In the here and now, things take longer than I would like.

Sharing love without losing it

2008-12-09T07:47:00.000-08:00

At camp a few years ago, there was an illustration skit that was really good. What happened was that there were two people and they each pretended that they were holding a bit of God's love cupped in their hands. One of them shared some of that love with another person and instead of them having less afterwards, they actually had more. And then they gave more away and the love that they had between their hands grew again. And each time that they gave some away they had even more than they started with. The other person just held on to what they had at the beginning, what they were given initially and they hoarded it and it stayed the same size and no one around them was impacted, helped, loved, or blessed by them.

I think it's a great illustration. We are blessed to be a blessing. If your life is not blessing those around you (and this doesn't have to be anything huge, what about a smile and a kind word?) then there is a point that has been missed. It's like the lessons on sharing that you got when you were three. Or practicing being nice.

Street sweeping and my ticket

2008-11-12T08:53:00.000-08:00

I remembered this morning as I saw the parking warden drive away from ticketing my car, that I was still parked on the wrong side of the street, as wednesday mornings are street sweeping times. Grrrrr. Enjoy my $30 Madison.

Heat and teamwork

2008-11-12T08:16:00.000-08:00

The house that I live in has three floors of a flat on each floor. And one thermostat..... Which means the the bottom floor is responsible for controlling the heat in the whole house. And if they leave doors or windows open, the heat compensates to make their floor the right temperature, which means that the rest of the house is burning up. And if it is too cold up here, that means that we have to have them turn up the heat which may mean that it is too hot downstairs. All of the heat comes from radiators and most, though not all of them have knobs to control each one but turning it off does not really mean that it will be less hot. The heat on the top floor used to not work at all. And so it appears that we are in a balancing act in which eleven people need to work together to make everyone comfortable, what a crazy balance. It does teach you to care about the other people though, like if I am hot, is the top floor warm enough to have the bottom floor turn down the heat a bit? And the poor guys downstairs who can't open a window without turning the rest of the house into a sauna (unless they figured out how to compensate on the thermostat). Teamwork indeed. We were praying one day in the basement and then the heat on the top floor actually worked after that. Those poor people must have been freezing. The part that is sad too is that the guy who has come over to hook up radiators and make some of them that were not working work, doesn't have much faith in the system, saying it is really fragile and quite the balancing act, brilliant. So teamwork it is.

We also have a mouse friend (probably a lot more than one, but let's try to stay positive.) It turns out that he likes to eat chocolate, flour, and powdered sugar the best. Ew. He sets off the humane traps without getting in, and doesn't seem to like the peanut butter that we baited the other traps with or doesn't set them off. And won't eat the poison either cause they tried that downstairs. I want to get that great expanding form stuff to shoot into holes that he may be finding. So mr. mouse, could you please just find somewhere else to live? And I would feel bad killing him, so another pickle of a situation that I wish I wasn't in.

Indecision

2008-11-07T20:13:00.000-08:00

Why am I so bad at deciding things? Especially if I there are many options and I can't do all of them. But in reality in order to do anything, you have to not do something. I was thinking about it today and a friend brought up a quote from Mother Theresa that I had mentioned last week. Funny when things you say come back to haunt you. So the story is the a man asked Mother Theresa to pray for him for clarity so that he would know what to do in his life. She told him that she would not. She doesn't pray for clarity but for trust instead. Trust that God will guide you along the way, trust that you have the facts when you need them, trust that all will be well and there is a happy ending to the story, or trust that things will work out. Really if you make a decision that is not one that you like later, mind changing is usually possible. And if you sit in the middle trying to hold on to all the options, nothing is possible. So you move forward in one direction. And then you also have to move forward in that direction, not thinking about the what could bes of the other ways but knowing that you would know if you needed to turn around. Trust indeed.

The beginning of November

2008-11-07T11:49:00.000-08:00

So we made it through October without snow and last week was even warm, how lovely. And now this week and especially today has me wondering why I live in Wisconsin. Who's idea was that, really? Oh how I dread winter. So let's focus on the positives, like drinking hot chocolate and watching movies, ice skating, playing the snow, looking at the pretty whiteness on the trees. Might as well try and think of the good things cause there is nothing that I can do about it anyway, winter is coming indeed. Like the snow of a day that I hear is happening outside now.

There is going to be a prayer room at church that is exciting. It is a part of the Advent Conspiracy thing. http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ The basic premise is to worship fully, spend less, give more, and love all. Giving presents that are time with loved ones instead of expensive gifts, and then give some money away to building wells in Africa. So there will be a prayer room in which people can pray and be and get to experience God in a new way hopefully. It is exciting and will start at the end of November.

Lost without GPS

2008-09-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was walking down the street and was asked by a man where the train station was and what was the easiest way to get there. (I made the poor guy climb up some stairs so that I could point more effectively, sadly only more trees could be seen) I was happy to be able to help him out. However, on the flip side, it seemed strange to see a guy walking around with a GPS device, I've only seen them in cars. Well the directions that he was getting were confusing (turns out cause there are two train stations in Guildford) so he had to stop for directions.

This encounter got me wondering... are GPS things going to hurt our ability to remember directions, like calculators and adding? Are we going to learn to rely so much on this little machine talking to us to tell us where to go and not know how to get there otherwise? As one who used to be quite horrible at directions (it took me years to learn how to get to my dad's house, which involves about three turns.) I don't think that my lack of direction skill was anything more than just not paying attention when heading somewhere. And if we don't pay attention because something is talking to tell us where to go, what will happen with that? And heaven forbid that a GPS (like in the iPhone) doesn't actually talk to you. You actually have to have someone look at it. (not while driving) Whoa!

the importance of dinner

2008-09-03T21:07:00.001-07:00

Today I had a few people over for dinner and we laughed and chatted and had a good time just being there and enjoying. How important that is, to be able to sit and be, to enjoy the people that you are around and to get to know them better, to laugh, to eat good food, and to have no where else that you should be at that time. (to even take the time and not answer the phone)

How often in life to we get going so fast that we don't take the time or don't feel like we have the time to stop, to rest. And how much do we miss out of because of that?

what to write

2008-09-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

So my friend Joe got deported (again) from England, which makes me a little bit worried. And so I am thinking of everything, every documentation that I could possibly take with me to make sure that I am not deported (again). So bank statements, and an letter from Apple saying I work there full-time (still an exciting thought), and my car lease or house lease papers. And they frown at you if you don't have cash on you. I never carry cash and don't like the idea of having to get some out of the bank, just to carry it to prove that I have money. Do people really still carry cash or cards on average? I use my cards most of the time. (except for a few of my favorite cafes here who only take cash, why I ask, why only take cash? I have been there before and paid with pre-counted change, including many pennies. $2.11 for a never ending coffee for here with soy. Yum. Lovely and then they keep your punch card there so that I don't even have to remember to take it. So the coffee even earns me a free one later, oh happy day indeed.

So back to the topic at hand, getting to go to England. Hopefully the immigration officer will not be reading this and then kick me out of some strange basis. It is strange when you are deported cause you really feel like you have done something wrong. When really, you just didn't fit pre-set criteria. I have been thinking of my journal too cause last time they read that. And so I think about what I have written in it and if that will make it sound like I am planning on staying in the UK forever. And what will I journal in this next week about going to England and will that make me sound like I want to be there for the rest of my life. I should write about how I want to be in Madison now and will be until something happens and there is a very good reason to go somewhere else. (hopefully involving other people coming with or going to other people that I know) That is true. I do like Madison. And I like that I can ride my bike to places, like this morning where I rode to the store to buy coffee to make.

I don't know that I could ever live in a place where I could not walk or ride my bike to coffee shops, stores, or somewhere useful. I don't like being places where you have to get in a car to get anywhere. Perhaps I have been spoiled. Perhaps.

Changing things

2008-08-27T00:18:00.000-07:00

So the season is changing, I think. If I could make the warm weather last longer, oh how I would. I stuck my toes in the lake today, while sitting on a rock on the edge. The waves worked their magic and oh what an enjoyable experience. Made me want to take a swim, but alas, I did not have the time.

I wonder how many people deal well with change. I wonder how well I deal with it. I like adventures, I like meeting new people, and new experiences, and yet... I dunno. If I have expectations that are not met, or if I feel like life is out of control, I do not always deal well. But then I take a minute and breathe and pray and then things are usually okay. Or if not, then either I need more time or there need to be things in the circumstances that shift. Sometimes you just have to let go. Sometimes you have to fight for things. How do you know the difference?

the almost ticket

2008-08-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I was driving my car, which happens to be fun and amazing and very sleek and aerodynamic, so not really my fault (except it is) that it also happened to be traveling at a velocity that was higher than it should have been. So as I was in the right of three lanes, I looked over to the left of the lanes where there was a police officer driving in his car. We made eye contact and I was starting to pass by him. At that point, my foot hit the break pedal in a way that moved my car a safer distance away from his. Whoa.

Home

2008-08-06T13:08:00.000-07:00

I think that each person who possibly can, should without question come to this event. Where else can you meet people from all over the globe with a heart for prayer and time to get to chat to them? This will be the forth, whoa!, of such gatherings that I will have the privilege of attending. And as time goes on, I get to know more people and then connect up with them again at these gatherings. Fabulous!

I can't wait to go to England. And the time that I am going is coming quickly. I will leave Chicago at night on the 8th of September and will get to be in England until the 23rd. How exciting! Yet, I am trying not to get too excited because I am working on being present and here and plus it makes my heart hurt to want to be there.

I bought stuff for my apartment today. A shower curtain and rug, very exciting. Yet, having to pick things out is hard when I don't have someone with me to bounce opinions off of. Sometimes it is helpful to have someone around to help me decide what I think. And then I went to Goodwill and bought a really ugly chair because it is really comfy and cost $20. I can cover it and then have such a comfy place to sit. Yeah!

Rain in Georgia

2008-07-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Today is a rainy day, which means a day that me and my little sis went to the movies and saw Wall-e. It is great to get to spend time with family.

Also lately I have been thinking again about the idea of sabbath and resting. I am not a person who is always that good and simply being present. Usually there are things in my head that I am scheming or sorting or things that I should do. But what a joy and help to just stop. I am all about enjoying coffees and meals and chats. What does stopping look like for you? How do you let go of the responsibility of everyday?

Prayer week

2008-07-28T07:29:00.000-07:00

We had a week of prayer last week. It took place in a coffee shop and was open 24-7. Exciting stuff for sure. Think about many people over the course of the week going to the same space to pray and chill and be with God. My favorite piece of a prayer room is that is it such a corporate exercise, even if you spend your time there alone. The fact that each person is coming to the same space changes the dynamic of the space. Plus there are usually walls for writing and drawing on and the room grows over the week. Ideally the prayer is continuous, where you go for your time and then prayer for the next person as you leave. What a great thing, like each hour just adds to the one before it. Very sweet.

I really don't know how full the prayer week was or if it was impactful and this info may never really be known. I suppose it is just a trust thing, having the faith that people interacted and experienced God. And hopefully I'll hear some of the stories. Either way it is good to get people together to pray. My hope is that people know more and more the peace and love of God and are able to pray in a new way too. Maybe your time in the prayer room is talking to God, maybe it is painting, maybe reading something, maybe sitting and listening or playing music, maybe writing or drawing, maybe scheming some amazing dream. May it be sweet and sacred time.

oh yes

2008-07-28T07:18:00.000-07:00

So life is a strange one in that you have soooo many decisions to make. Why? Ha. In reality it is a good thing that we have choices in life. That things happen to present opportunities and changes, options if you will. But then on the flip side, because there are options, there are choices to make. And the sad part about that is that you get to do one thing at a time and so saying yes to one thing says no to something else. In essence this is a good thing because it lets you commit to something and enjoy and interact with it and with the people involved. But there are always things that you don't get to do. But by committing to something, you really get to engage and experience it, frustrations, excitements and all.

I am not used to being in the same spot for more than 9 or ten months, so around the sixth month mark means that I am looking for the next place to go. So guess how long I've been in Madison now, and how strange the idea is that I don't have plans to leave. That instead there is a group of people that I have committed to for two years. What would happen if I left now and what would be the point?

Most exciting news, I get to go and see Dad, Diane, and Alissa! How sweet is to to get to see family. So exciting! I have a wonderful family and love them dearly.

summer is coming

2008-06-10T08:36:00.000-07:00

Perhaps summer is here. The weather is nice and more people are outside.

We are going to be having 24-3. (praying 24 hours for three days) next week, then again in the middle of July and August. I'm excited about this because it is so great for people to get together and pray. Also having the space and the time set aside for it is profound. How wonderful to be able to come into the room and join in with your hour of prayer, then pass it off to the next person for their time. I get worried that people won't come or that they will sign up and not show up, but I guess that all of that is up to God and will get sorted. Also prayer is so fundamental to building any sort of community, so should be put into place at the beginning.

Today I am going to have lunch with a girl that I went to Calvin with. I search the alumni site a week ago for people in Madison and found people that I knew. Great.

today

2008-05-27T15:31:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I got to go to Kansas and join with other people around the country for 24-7 prayer's national gathering. Yeah! It was great to see people again and to meet some new people as well, always a good time. Plus I took a road trip with people from Madison for the weekend, was great bonding time with people from here. (including getting stuck in Dubuque, Iowa cause there was the threat of tornadoes on the road that we were to be driving on. We spent almost 2 hours in Dairy Queen to wait for the storms to pass. And then there was amazing sideways type lightning on the way home.)

I really enjoy people and I love how small the world becomes when this person has met this person and knows that one and you know those other people too, great fun. And crazy how many people are interconnected. Like I met a girl in Kansas who met people that I know who are swedish, but she met them in England.

I get to pick up my new car on Friday I think. Crazy that I am getting a car, what a grown-up thing to do. Exciting and scary at the same time. I am proud of my skills with talking to the people at the dealerships and I had fun driving cars. Scary though, cause a car is a big deal. And I need to make sure that I will be able to pay for it in the long term. Grown-up decisions for sure.

I don't know that I will ever feel like a grown-up really, especially cause I get mistaken for being 18 nearly daily.

the beautiful sun

2008-04-23T16:12:00.000-07:00

So it really is hard to get anything productive done when it is so nice outside. Like today I went for a run and then was needing to get some work done, so clearly the thing to do was to go to the park and fall asleep in the sunshine. Good for the soul for sure, not so good for productivity, but I didn't sleep that long and perhaps my brain was coming up with some amazing ideas for the projects that I am supposed to be working on.

Once the sun came out, the bikers did too. There are so many bike paths around here and it is great! Anywhere you go, you are very close to a bike path which makes a great place to go for a walk or run. Fantastic.

distraction

2008-04-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

So I am supposed to be sitting down and making a draft of this community house vision and what that means and looks like and what it would mean for people to move in, what are they committing to? And so I got up this morning with the goal of getting it done today. And now it's 7:00 pm. Why is it hard to focus and why do I find all these other things to do? Things that needed to get done by the way. It is exciting to think about what a community house could look like, just a chilled out place where people live and can have fun and rest well, a place to get to know people. I don't wanna be too specific cause I don't even know who will move in and surely it has to fit the people who are there. Also I don't want to make up rules for the sake of it or make it a burden or heavy thing to live there. And yet there needs to be some intention to it, some commitment to each other and some practical things, like cleaning. So therein lies the balance. So yep, that will get done tonight.......

So this is what I forgot to say for my grandma's funeral. She bought me a computer, a really nice one that I love. I thought that it didn't need to be included in how she affected me, yet it does. I got a nice computer when before I didn't wanna be "too flash." It's like she believed in me and my graphic design abilities more than I did. I about cried when I found out that she was going to buy me a computer, I couldn't talk. I was in an office with some others who were wondering why I was squeaking and flapping my arms. And I couldn't tell them. I remember that she told me that she wanted to be able to give it to me then cause it would mean more to me when I couldn't afford it myself and when she would get to see me enjoy it. Thanks Gram. It is strange to think that an object, a machine can impact your life, and it is almost a little scary, yet that's the way that it is. This computer helps me in so many ways and now serves as a reminder to me about the generosity of my grandma and of how I would like to be. I can't even tell you how many people asked if my grandma wanted any more grandkids to buy computers for. Sorry, she was mine.

laundry

2008-03-10T12:39:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in a coffee house, seriously procrastinating doing my laundry. Really does not sound like a fun thing to do right now. Hmmmm. But the clothes are in the car ready to go. I got everything that I could find that was dirty. Since laundry is done at the laundry mat now, it usually means waiting til I am almost out of socks, then packing up everything I can think of that could perhaps be dirty and throwing them in the wonderfully huge machine. (not the whites of course) Still seems like such a pain. The part that I dislike the most is the waiting part. I brought my book, but still. Not something that I am looking forward to, but the end result and the squeaky clean clothes will be nice.

I had a surreal experience today. Went for a run and stopped when I got by the lake. Then I was standing in the sunshine (extra bright when reflected off of the snow covering the frozen lake) and it was so warm. I ended up sitting on this stone wall for a little bit enjoying the warmth of the sun and thinking how strange it was to be surrounded by snow and yet be just sitting in the warmth of the glorious sunshine. Spring is on it's way! (perhaps after several more snow storms but we're still hopeful)

I am really enjoying just sitting here at this coffee shop though. My computer, some coffee and a pumpkin scone, a comfy chair in front of a fire, who would want to do laundry?

losing stuff

2008-03-04T08:54:00.000-08:00

So I just lost my phone and was looking all over for it. I couldn't find it so I figured that I had forgotten it at home. Then it started to ring, which made the searching for it even more frantic. Quick! Find the phone as it is teasing me with the ringing. So I searched my purse and my bag and my coat pockets and my purse and my bag and my coat pockets and the missed call signal sounds and I search my bag and dump everything out and do the same drill with the purse and pull my mittens out of my coat pocket but still no phone. But at last I had success! The phone was in my pocket the whole time. Why did I put it there?

The call was a lady from church. I went to a new church last weekend and decided that I want to be a greeter there, great fun. She was returning my call from yesterday. Then she asked how long I had been going to that church, um one week, is that a problem? Now I just have to wait on the other lady to call me back and I can stand and say hello to everyone who walks into the very large building on a Sunday morning. Why does having a name tag suddenly give you more permission to be friendly? And why do so many people come and shake your hand if you stand with a name tag and say hello? We should do an experiment and get name tags and greet people in some random location. Like welcome to the coffee shop or glad you decided to walk down this street. What would people do?

it's been a while

2008-03-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

So things that have changed lately, hmmm. Not the snow, it's still here, although spring is coming, you can feel the excitement in the air. Yesterday I had myself convinced that it was warm outside, so I went out there with shoes that were not appropriate for the snow that I had to stand in to get the fresh powder off of my car. Then as I was driving down the street I noticed that my car seemed to be the only one with snow on top of it. How is that possible?

Yesterday I bought some frames so that my pictures will be hung properly now, yeah! There were three pictures that I needed frames for and I managed to get ones that are perfect. Exciting! And they were on sale, bonus! Now it is just a matter of figuring out where to hang them in the house.

I really wonder what spring will be like here, I think that it will be great. People will go outside again, bbqs will happen, and an amazing farmer's market downtown that I have heard about so many times that I have lost track.

Life is coming together. I have moved into my house, moved up a floor, got a job which I love, have an internship too and am taking a class there, am getting used to Madison and learning my way around more, meeting new people and getting to know them, finding cool coffee shops and restaurants. Pieces are coming together. It is hard though to not know how everything fits together and what the future will look like. Silly to worry about cause it is a matter of wait and see. And if I actually could know the future, would I want to?

Also what makes a place feel like home or not? What are the ingredients needed? Add a house, some stuff and time? Pictures on the wall I'm sure will be helpful so now I have to get around to that. Perhaps later today. I ran away to a coffee shop this morning to be productive and to get away from the noise of the construction in our house which includes really loud music. So here's to productivity....

snow day

2008-02-06T11:39:00.000-08:00

Today was the day of snow for sure. It was snowing when I went to bed last night and continued to snow for the entire day, not a nice huge flake postcard type of snow. It snowed the kind of snow that made the roads impassible and Madison had a snow day. One of my housemates didn't have to go to classes today. I went to my internship this morning but when I got home I got an email that everyone that was there left at one to try to get home in a more safe manner and the classes that were to be held tonight were canceled. So me and my housemates had a day of hanging out, first being big dorks and all sitting on our computers in the dining room. (all apples of course, plus we were excited that we are getting an internet signal once again, hooray!) Then we watched a movie but I left partway through and took a nap, nothing better than that. Then I baked some pumpkin spice bread, which turned out quite well. We don't have mixing bowls yet though, so I mixed it in the largest pot that we have. It works.

This evening I shoveled our stairs and front walkway. And impressively threw a few snow balls at our windows. It was a hard task to throw the snow cause it is not packing snow so I had to find the parts that were already in chunks, then get close enough to the house without sinking in the that was on the side of the road. Fun stuff. And I am loving my boots and have gotten more use out of them this month then the past four years. They're those great warm ones with the laces up the front, on sale at Gander Mountain years ago.

While I was shoveling, a guy started shoveling the neighbors sidewalk. It was a little funny though cause he hadn't come out of that house. Turns out that he was on his way to a friend's house but thought that there would be a lot of people stuck in the snow so he brought his shovel along. Okay.... And he was friend's with the neighbors so decided to shovel their sidewalk on his way too. Bonus, he helped me shovel out my car. It had been on the side of the road all day so had feet of snow beside it because of the plows and at least 8 inches on top that had fallen during the day. So as we're shoveling, we're chatting and it comes up that I have been involved with prayer stuff. "Is that the purpose of your life?" Deep question shovel guy.

The purpose of my life...... interesting question isn't it? And does anyone know or is it something that can change by season, like the purpose of my life is to love Jesus but then the particulars change. I said that the prayer was definitely a part of it and then talked about wanting to love people well. Then I don't even know what I said, stuff about prayer and then being willing to be the answer to that prayer I think. I talked for a while and then asked if that made any sense or answered the questioned and he said it did. It is strange and yet kind of neat to have to put your life purpose into words.

Then I met a woman who lives across the street who made me really excited once again to be living here. She was telling me about the neighbors and how they are great and nice and into being green and peace. And how in the summer lots of people meet up in one of the backyards and catch up. (and watch the neighbors pet chickens) It was amazing and exciting to stand with this lady as she told me names and little bits of information about a lot of the people who live nearby. Excellent! What a great place to move to! Plus an added bonus that the neighbors are excited that this house is being lived in too.

land of connections

2008-01-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

So I keep meeting people and these people know each other or know other people that I know. It is truly a small world. Like I moved to Madison after meeting people who live here in England and Spain. Then I met people here who know people that I know that live in Kansas City and Mexico that I met in England. Then I met a guy at the interview at Apple and it turns out that he knows one of the guys that I live with and has done some work on the remodeling of my house. Yesterday I went to a meeting about Young Life at the high school that is two blocks from my house. And it just so happens that it took place at the house that my housemate's girlfriend lives in. And by chance they know the before mentioned guy and his wife too. And on Sunday I had meet this guy's wife and family and his wife had seen my housemate and his girlfriend in Target earlier that day. And as a sidenote, my other housemate happens to work at that Target.

So Young Life, hooray! They may have club (the meeting for kids, crazy games and songs, etc.) in the bottom floor of our house. How great is that! People were talking about how great it would be to have someone who had a heart for young people at the high school to use the space in the bottom of our house. (Dunno if I've explained the space before. The top three floors will each be a three bedroom flat and the bottom floor will be a space with kitchen, bathroom, and lounge type rooms. Then it can be a great spot for people in the community to come and hang out, do work or homework, host parties, and whatever else happens. We live about two blocks from the high school too.) We shall see what happens with all that, but it has very exciting potential.

So yep, things are moving forward, I am meeting people, am getting trained for my job at Apple, working at my internship, and living here in Madison.

Yesterday I stopped at Trader Joe's on my way home from Apple. Oh man was I indecisive. I was trying to get a few things that I needed in order to be able to pack lunches or dinners for training and work this week. And so I wandered the store and ended up asking this poor lady what kind of cheese I wanted cause I couldn't be bothered to make the choice. I also was talking to this guy who worked there about pretzels, crackers and tortilla chips. He said that I would know that I made it in life when I could buy all three. Oh yes, land of opportunity and tortilla chips.

life in a snowglobe

2008-01-17T15:33:00.000-08:00

So today it has been snowy and I've actually quite enjoyed it. This morning I went for a run, not knowing that it was snowing until I walked out the door. (running in the cold is great cause I can be outside and not be cold and I run without sweating cause it's too cold. I did have to stop once cause the snow stuck in the bottom of my shoe was picking up more snow and forming a ball of snow on the bottom of my foot, not conducive to running on.) It was really fun, like being in a snowglobe and things have a different perspective when you can't see that far ahead, makes you concentrate on what's around. Like life eh, you don't know what the future brings so you might as well be in the here and now. Focus on what you can see and the rest will take care of itself later. Like I moved to Madison and a house sorted itself out, I got a job and internship, met great people, and we will have to see what happens.

This afternoon I went out for coffee and wore my big chunky snow boots. How funny and entertaining to clomp around. And wow, how nice to have warm feet. Wow, who would have thought? And fun to be able to walk in the snow. When I got home I had to scrape my car off in order to move it to the other side of the street. You have to park on a certain side because of the snow plowing. I do live in a snow globe.

Yesterday I had my first dinner party at my new house. Hard to believe that I have been here for two weeks already, crazy! And yet I feel like I've been here for a while already. So the transit (training program) people came over. I asked a lot of nosy questions and I believe that people enjoyed themselves. It is so interesting to meet new people and so neat that each person is so different. What they like, who they are, how they present themselves, what they are learning, great. And how wonderful to meet people over food. There is something about sitting around and sharing a meal, people taking the time to stop, chat, enjoy, relax. Let your guard down a bit. Good stuff. So often people rush through life and meals, why? What's all the rush for? Sit down, talk, breath a bit. Glorious!

to the tundra

2008-01-14T13:10:00.000-08:00

So I've moved to the tundra, who's idea was that? I just left my internship to go get some coffee to warm up and cause what fun to be playing on the computer and to have that time accompanied by a warm lovely coffee (almost ended up going down the wrong street on the way back cause my head was down to get away from the wind and snow). My internship is working in a ad shop where we are all volunteers. (design people who want and need experience) It functions like an ad shop, great fun! Funny though that they just assumed that I could do things, I guess you would think that if someone had a graphic design degree, they would be competent. I never showed any work to them, just came and had a chat friday, and started this morning. And it is downtown, right by the capitol which is fun. Also means that parking is stupid and expensive so I took the bus. (Which turned out to be a good thing, since I got my car stuck in the driveway. I couldn't find parking on the road last night, had a thought that I was going to get stuck, but did it anyway. And lo and behold, the car wouldn't back up the driveway this morning. Hmmmmm. Hopefully the situation will be remedied by the time that I get back. (Perks of having really nice people working on the remodeling of the house.) And I got shelves put in my closet this morning too, good day. Now my stuff can finally be put away.

I hung up my pictures the other day. Yeah! I got to hang pictures on the wall, how great is that? Pound nails into the wall and everything. There was a little bit of a mishap in my room, the nail bent and the hole that it formed in the wall is a little bigger than ideal, but it's covered the the ribbon that this pretty mirror hangs on. I have more frames that I have to put new pictures in. Yeah! (If you've got any really good pictures that can go on my wall, send them over.)

This weekend was great. Start with Friday. I go to the place that I now have my internship, meet with people and decide that I will start on Monday (today!). Then I was driving home and had a message from Apple to call them back and bam, I got a job! Good day. Then there was a weekend intensive with a bunch of people around my age from church so I got to meet some more amazing people, catch up with some others and have a great time. Life is good. Things are coming together.

the cold

2008-01-10T14:08:00.000-08:00

The cold and I do not get along very well. By that I mean that I don't like it. And you would think that by now (living so many years with cold winters) I would be used to it, but that is not the case. But I think that my attitude towards cold is improving mostly. I do enjoy warm drinks and snuggling up on the couch. But it is scary when I meet someone at the coffee shop who tells me that this is a bad time to move to Madison, that January and February are cold. Not helpful. But the upside is that when I make it to the spring, oh how glorious that will be. And if I am used to Madison in the cold and settled in, then how much better will it be when it is warm? Sounds good.

Today I took a driving tour around the city, which led me in circles. Ooops. My sense of direction is not wonderful and there are a lot of one way streets which was not helpful either. I got directions back from town for when I go there tomorrow. I might become an art director in an unpaid intership, but great experience and sounds exciting. I guess we'll see tomorrow.

I've been here a whole week already. How crazy is that?

here I am

2008-01-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

First of all, check out this website and go and sign the declaration. It only takes a second, and they are trying to gather a million signatures to present to the UN to persuade them to look into human trafficking as a serious issue.
http://www.stopthetraffik.org/help/declaration.aspx

Secondly, I now live in Madison WI. Crazy thought. I've been thinking and praying for so long to finally get somewhere and just get to be. Now I am here, and now what does that look like? I thought so much about getting there and forget the reality to being here, so it is like a dream in a lot of ways. Yes I am actually here. And there what so much time spent thinking about getting here, not I need to see what being here looks like. But that will take time, which is just fine cause time I have now. I am here. I had an interview at the Apple store yesterday and that was great fun. Answering questions and role playing and I got so giddy it was hard to pay attention sometimes. How wonderful to be employed again! Getting a paycheck, wow. (and being able to pay my rent, landlords would like that one)

I really enjoy meeting people and have gotten to do that a lot since being here. New faces, new personalities and new passions, exciting. Can be draining too, so much effort to get to know people and yet it is not at the same time. You know how there are times when you just click with people and there is an instant friendship in a way. What a beautiful thing. I really like thinking about friendships and relationships and watching the different interactions between people. Last night at my interview, it was very interesting to watch people as they interacted with each other and answered questions, how the managers wandered around, asked questions and watched. Fascinating.

How much do you think you can tell about a person from meeting them once? How accurate are your first impressions? And what are first impressions of you like? How true and authentic are you at first meeting people? Are there parts of you that you hide for later? Will be fun to see what my thoughts of people now look like when I know them better.

snow

2007-12-17T12:43:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning with pain in my back. Oh yes, the joys of shoveling! It was fun though, getting decked out in my snow pants, mittens, ski coat, huge boots, and knitted hat. And when I got tired, I just plopped into one of the piles of snow on the side of the driveway. Amazing to be sitting in snow and not wet or cold. Yes, I am that easily amused. Hard work though. We got 8 inches of snow over night.

Shoveling is a strange concept if you think about it..... take the shovel load it with as much snow as you can and fling the snow as far as possible, ideally off the driveway, usually not though, so you get closer to the side and pick up the same snow again, this time it does get thrown onto where you guess the lawn is, yes! How many times do you pick up the same snow??? So a few hours later, the driveway was done. (all while the snow blower sat in the garage..... turns out it only works when there is less snow, not that I really like the idea of a snow blower anyway.) And there was a lady across the street shoveling and I over heard her getting yelled at. "Do you remember the one rule? Don't step on the snow!" Sad. I can understand the logic, if you compact the snow, it gets icy easier, but sounds strange and I felt bad, shoveling is hard enough, no need to be yelled at for doing it wrong.

I had not much focus or method, just pick up snow and chuck it, none of the rows. I don't have the focus for rows and find it more fun with the random method.

I did try to make a snow man once I was done but the snow was too fluffy and wouldn't stick. There is a snow angel in the backyard though and it looks great!