Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Snow with a 9 year old

Snow becomes alot more fun when there is a little kid around who loves it. My little sister and I had snow adventures. One the night of the 23rd, we had to move my car so that I would not get a ticket. It had been parked on the road and we decided to move it in to the garage. The problem comes that my car is not the tallest of cars. And the snow was just high enough to be a problem. So we prayed for safe travels, armed ourselves with scrappers and got to work. And got stuck turning around on the street. Then got to the driveway and got stuck in the end of it. Then finally got in the garage. After which, we did a victory dance and made snow angels. Great fun. And a bit thrilling as we were stuck a few times and I didn't want us to slide in to anything while she was in the car. (not like I want to hit things normally, but you know how your senses get a bit higher when there is a little person involved.)

She was a great help for the next few days of getting the ice off of the driveway and sidewalks too, until she got bored or distracted. Then we would have snowball fights or I would throw her in the snow. I hung her upside down over the snow. And dropped her in it a few times. Then I asked her if she wanted me to fall in the snow too, which of course she did. So I fell in the snow too. She built two snowmen. One for me and one for her. How sweet! Mine had tomatoes for the eyes and mouth, and a zuchinni end for the nose. There are sticks for arms. For the pictures that we took, she knocked the head off of her snowman so she could be the head. How do kids think of this stuff? Great fun.

Friday, 11 December 2009

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

snow day

Today is a day o' snow. Last night our upstairs and next door neighbors made a giant snowman, one that got taller through the night. The snow is beautiful and peaceful. It is interesting that in people, lots of snow causes several different reactions, panic, calm, excitement for days off, for snowmen and snowball fights, snow angels, etc. And the laughter and perhaps hot chocolate that goes with that. Also, people seem to be there to help each other during a big snow. People start shoveling and there is someone else there to help, or someone gets stuck and there is someone to push them out. Last night, two guys from work cleared off my car before I got to the parking lot and two others had to push my car that did not want to leave the parking lot it looks like. A time I wish I had a Jeep, plus how fun would driving around running over snow.

There was a snow plow that I saw this morning that got stuck in a driveway. Another truck with plow came with a chain and pulled him out. (which is really nice cause it turned out that the plowing person that was stuck was the one to plow our street)

I just love when people come out of their individualist selves to come together for something. It's nice. And helping in the snow is something that you can't help but do. And I love that a snow day makes every thing stop, everyone move slower. There are so many things that can't be done, gives you more time to rest, to reflect and to spend time in the snow.

Sunday, 6 December 2009

Why I love soccer

On Friday during soccer, I was thinking about why I like it so much and I have a thought. I am sure that it is a lot of different pieces, including getting to run around, being on a team, having a schedule to getting some exercise. But what I really like is how much it relies on instinct. You move where you go, you go where you think the other people or the ball will be. There is not time to think, just act. It is very fun and freeing. Maybe a lot of the same things that I like about dancing, how you don't really focus on what you look like or what you will do next, moreso you are in the moment and moving within that. Oh how fun. Now how to live like that all the time?

You couldn't in some senses cause there are things in life that need planning and preparation, but the freedom of getting just be in the moment. I like it. I also like stealing the ball from the other team.

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Dancing and Eye Makeup

It is hard to dance and put on eye makeup at the same time, in case you ever wanted to know. The trick is that you can dance harder when putting more color on the brush. Dancing should be done a lot more than it is. Maybe that just means that I need more little dance parties in my house, makes you wake up in the morning for sure.

And what fun. There is that quote where a part of it says to dance like no one is watching. Very fun and freeing. You could dance around looking like an utter fool and no one would ever be the wiser.

I found this on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ3d3KigPQM and there on tons like it. Times when it is choreographed for large groups to do some interesting dance together. Oprah even did one at here season premiere. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjRnuiKql-E I love the flashmob dance things. Somehow they are exciting.

One of my dreams is to have been in a musical movie, like singing in the rain, getting to dance the good morning song. Being the girl you get to wear a pretty dress/skirt and dance around. How fun! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uA3OnIYW5u4

It is funny the odd dreams and interests that we each possess. If you had three wishes of things that are really not easily possible, what would they be? What would you do? Or where would you be?

Saturday, 28 November 2009

Calling Customer Service

I do not enjoy calling customer service. I find it annoying and time consuming. Not to mention, most places are only open on the weekdays when it using my cell phone minutes, and I don't have any to spare, especially for something so ridiculous. AH.

I have a cable to play my iphone in the car, and it broke. I had one before, and it broke too. Being the wise person that I am, I bought a new one of the same thing. Duh. So I called Belkin today to see what is possible, waiting on hold for 20 minutes to find out I had gotten myself to a tech support person, who told me to call customer service. Um, I thought I did. And he would not transfer me to the right spot. 20 minutes wasted. Then I called the number back. And turns out they are not there on the weekend and told me to go to the website. On the website, you have to make up a user account if you want to email anyone. But you can request a product replacement, but have to pay for shipping the product there. Then wait for UPS ground to get a new one to you. Option 2 is paying more for the replacement, and speedy shipping, then sending the broken one back after that. These are not really great options. It is making me thing that I should just buy a new one of a different brand and be done with it that much quicker. And I would tell Belkin that, if ever I could get through to someone. Yuck. Also, it may take 20 days for it to ship. Makes me think how attached I am to listening to ipod music in the car. I have cds or radio and could do that. I am ridiculous too and spoiled by the ipod. Maybe it would be a good experiment to have a silent car for a month.

On a different note, the Blockbuster is closing, not that I went there often (maybe a few times a year, which could explain why they are not sticking around) but they seem like a business that should be around.

I ran 10k the other day. And it was fun to do it. I would like to be more in shape and more disciplined about running. And I would like to try more, and train properly and be a bit more serious about it. I haven't been before because I get distracted easily. So wish me luck now, and setting aside time, and hoping that the winter allows me to still run outside. Running is so good, so good. I also learned that it is a bad idea to drink pop the day before a big run. I don't drink pop that often but somehow decided that it would be a good idea the day before.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

And the rain stopped

Today it was raining all day, and then when I went for a run, it was pretty much done. That left a great set-up for this run. The air was a perfect not hot, not too cold, the sky was sort of grey/white, which made such a pleasant back drop for the bright leaves on the trees and ground. The run takes me though the Arboretum, on a straight road canopied by tall trees now in their fall splendor. A few miles in I heard footsteps of another runner about to pass me. (note to self, be faster, so people don't pass) I made a comment about how the rain stopped for his run, to which he said that he had taken it up with God and would share his good fortune with my run too. This was such a fitting comment, as at the beginning of the run I was thanking God for the good weather and beautiful surroundings.

And so I had a running friend for a few miles, a nice change to my usual lone run. It made me run a bit faster too, which can not be a bad thing.

How cool that there is a God that is so personal and so huge at the same time. How he would do something like taking away the rain at the perfect moment.

I love fall, the colors of the leaves and the swooshing sound that they make under your feet.

"to live without risk is to risk not living" (from Ruthless Trust by Brennan Manning) The book is about trusting in God and I love this line. It doesn't mean to act foolishly or without thinking all the time, but it does mean living and moving forward in life even when the path is not known or defined or when you don't know what will happen or how things with work out or come together. Or taking a chance or risk for something that you want that is not guaranteed. And see where life takes us.... trust in God and move forward in to whatever that means. There is a freedom in life when you are not so worried about the what if, or what if not, cause whatever comes tomorrow is something that you can experience tomorrow. And God is there too.

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Stop the Traffik

There are prayer rooms praying for modern day slavery to end, there may even be one in Madison this month around the same them. And there is a new(er) video on the Stop the Traffik website now. http://www.stopthetraffik.org/resources/films/film_stt01.aspxf

How crazy and sad to know that there are people in the world that would sell other people. And how crazy too that this is a problem that is so big, that it often stops people from doing anything because it seems too large. Awareness is a good step forward. And then one step at a time after that.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Olympic Hopes

In Chicago there were a lot of banners and publicity around their bid to host the olympics in 2016. It looked nice. There were banners and posters. In the airport, there were walls dedicated to the cause. It was surreal and a little strange to be walking through the airport on the day that it was announced that the olympics would not be held there. There was a lot of cost and a lot of effort that the city put forth to make a case for hosting the events. It got me thinking about things in life that don't work out. I used to always be afraid of taking chances where you have to step out in things and make steps forward in saying that you want something to happen or putting things in place that would be helpful in the event that what you wished did come true. Cause how silly do those 2016 Olympic hopeful banners look now?

But I think that this is not the right way of looking at it because there are many dreams in life that are worth stepping out in to, even if they don't work out. Where you dream for it, plan for it, and take the chance. If you don't take a chance, then it is not going to happen for sure and if you do, then it could and wouldn't that be great. I think that taking chances in life, scary as they can be, are worthwhile, one of those, you'll never know if you don't try. Or those things in life that have no way of magically happening, they need you to take steps towards the dream, and either it works out, or you learn, or you have the comfort of knowing that at the very least, you gave it a try.

Now, I am not saying that taking chances in life is easy because it could be downright discouraging, but it is worth it for sure.

Tuesday, 22 September 2009

What is home?

What defines "home"?

Is it where you stuff is?

Is it where you can relax and just be?

It is comfort? Or people? Or circumstances?

It seems to be a place and a feeling. And some places that you live do not feel like home and some do eventually and some do automatically? So what are the defining factors? Does it have to do with the state of your soul and how settled it is time to be? Or a sense of belonging that is reliant on external factors? Or is it a rest within ones own soul, when being present is possible and delighted in, when rest is had? There seems to be something about it that is sought after and yet undefinable. A sense of peace or calling which keeps us in a spot and attaches our heart to it.

My lovely house in the great city of Madison is home right now. And I like it.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

In the beginning.....

" In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters." Genesis 1:1-2

Whoa. Today this is blowing me away. The anticipation. Like the best thing ever is about to happen. There is darkness and chaos and power. Whoa. It makes my stomach get butterflies, like a present that you can't wait to rip open or a movie or book where the next part is coming and the suspense is so great. Or like climbing up a large incline on a roller coaster, you know that it is going to be a wild ride. As the train clicks up and up the incline, the steepness increasing, the car going slower and slower as it climbs and the pause at the top, right before you head over. This is it. It's coming and it's great. Something to be caught up in and swept away forever.

There is chaotic vastness and God is hovering. Creation is going to happen. Wow. It is so good and so hard to sit at the top of that incline when the train is about to go over. Just as reading these two verses really want to catapult you into the rest. Cause God speaks and the vastness is formed into light, and life and us. And we are then reflectors of the light and life and participate in the amazingness that is creation. Whoa.

I am going to hang out in verses one and two for a bit and be in awe. Whoa. What a powerful and amazing God. And we are a part of it. Wow indeed.

Thursday, 17 September 2009

My $22 coffee

I broke my french press coffee maker. While washing it, it decided to fall over in the sink and the 10 inches between being upright and on it's side was enough of a fall to break it. Grrr... Then trying to fix the situation as quickly as possible, I went to Target to buy a new one. But they did not have the $20 option, only the $40, so I did not want to get it. That meant buying coffee at the coffee shop for a few days as I checked other stores who only had the expensive one too. One morning, I went to get my coffee, and after searching the house unsuccessfully for change for the meter, chanced parking for the three minutes it takes to get the coffee.

There was a man standing by the wall when I went in and when I came out. After I came back to the car and found the $20 ticket on it, he told me that the parking guy was right across the street when I went in. Why didn't he tell me that before? I then told him that I had tried to find change and he said that I should have just asked him. Yes I should have. Why didn't I?

Now I have a french press that also have some rubber and plastic around the sides so hopefully the glass will not break this time. But add up the $20 ticket, the $25 french press and all of the coffees in the meantime, and I lost money on the deal.

Thursday, 3 September 2009


What does it mean to be a people of prayer? What does it mean to have prayer as a defining characteristic in a community? What does it mean for that community to be birthed out of prayer?

I love the idea, the concept, the passionate life that is lived when every moment is a prayer, where all of life is worship to God. How much time do we spend though talking about prayer, about worship, or about community vs. the time that we spend living it?

Prayer as breathing. Breathing God in and breathing out in to life, to the everyday, the people that you meet and the ones that you know. Prayer is so inclusive too. There are not lines of who is in and who is out, like there can be in a standard community, where there are usually rings of inclusion and levels of commitment.

Life as prayer, connecting to God, being with him. And as you live out of that place, the things in life take on importance in the proper proportions. Things that really do not matter, don't. And the things that break God's heart, (those things that we can ignore if we get distracted enough) work there way in to our hearts too, softening and tweaking and re-aligning til our hearts break at those things too. And the things that are joyful, are full of goodness and joy again too.

I met a man at work yesterday who told me that life was to short and that as his age, life could be over at any point. Life is too short to not have a personality he said. He was a character for sure and had great wisdom too. Just being ourselves and having that personality that is distinctly yours is so freeing to you and the people around too. And it frees you up to care about the other people around you too. Because, if you are comfortable in your own skin, others are comfortable to relax in their skin too. How great would it be to be a person who people are free around.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

What to say today

Today is a day off and one of the first ones I have had that has not had big moving in type projects that I should be doing. (not that I did them on the other days off but they were there.) The bathroom has been scrubbed, the kitchen unpacked, the dining room chairs covered, and pictures hung. Hooray. It is so nice to get to move in and make a space home. And I love where we are living. It is good and a lot different to live with one person only instead of the many that I am used to. There other day I got asked if I lived in a different community house. Sure I do. By "community house" though, I think there definition assumes more than two people.

It is a nice sunny day today and I am going to go for a run. Oh the joys of running. The not having to do anything else, the tiredness, the endorphins, the feeling of fit-ness.

The other day I went to a custard shop and didn't have cash and there was a sign that they could not charge a card with anything less than $7. Hmmmm. So the guy asked what I wanted. "Nothing I guess." So he asked what I wanted again and gave me a dish of vanilla custard telling me to pay next time. What a nice interaction and help.

How often are people willing to be put out of place or inconvenienced to help someone else? Not like my custard is a good example of a dire situation, but I sure we can think of enough situations where the help of other people is needed. How willing are the other people? More or less willing if they are strangers to the one who needs help? Probably more willing if it is either a quick help, where the inconvenience is only for a moment, or a major emergency which conscience would not let go. And is help something that should be asked for or freely given?

I like the opening of doors for other people and picking up things that people have dropped. Those are really easy things and make people smile. And I like the interaction with a stranger where there is a smile and maybe a couple of words and you're on your way again.

But what about the times when people really need help? And we are busy and distracted by our own lives. Are we noticing? Are we taking any time to care about the situation, or just moving on by?

I think it depends on the situation and the people involved cause there are plenty of stories of heroics and kind words, and many where there is just need. So which story are we going to be a part of today?

Monday, 6 July 2009

Different languages

Isn't it interesting that there can be people sparking the same language and yet communication is a process. The other day we were in a car waiting in a line of traffic after fireworks. Someone in a car further back in the line thought it was a good idea or funny to honk. Why, I do not know. And Becca said she would yell out the window that Jesus loved them. Absolutely true and something that everyone should know and experience, but probably not the best time to share such a message, yelling it out the car window in answer to the honking.

How often do we change what we are saying, more specifically how we are saying it based on who we are talking to. Like at work, I am not going to explain everything to a person who is super tech savy and I am not going to use a lot of techy lingo to someone who is not. But do you ever find yourself forgetting the context? Getting used to what you know or how you are used to speaking and forgetting to actually communicate what you are saying in a way that will be understood. Because communication doesn't count if you are the one still at the end of the conversation who knows what you were trying to say. Really you just wasted time, breathe and energy. Yet it's an effort and it takes energy, it takes caring about the other person or the message enough to change your norms and put things in another way.

Communication so important and so much to learn.

Thursday, 2 July 2009


My peppermint tea quote, "Inspiring others toward happiness brings you happiness."

Yep. Can we say joy instead of happiness though, cause joy would be more long lasting and less based on circumstances.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009


I went strawberry picking today. Yeah. There is something so good and right and nice about getting to pick your own food. Really nice that you don't have to take all of the time and effort to grow it and yet still get the thrill of getting to be the one to pull it from it's source. Strawberries are something that takes a bit of patience. It is hard to fill a box that is big, with berries that are not so big. It makes you somehow feel more connected to nature or something, plus it tastes amazing to get things fresh from the farm. And I like the work that goes in to it, like going and buying some already picked takes a bit of the fun out of it and would feel like cheating.

I had a nice time getting the strawberries. Also, I was assisted by the woman and man who were telling us which rows to pick from. The lady even took me to try three different kinds of berries. (I never thought of there being more than one kind.) Also, the two of them picked some of the berries that ended up going home with me. How nice and helpful of them. This one kind that I got, has white spots, on purpose. It is some sort of marbled strawberry. Yum. Now I have to figure out all what to do with 11 pounds of strawberries.

This evening was a really nice evening with housemates. There was an impromptu house dinner, with 7 people in attendance. We sat, we ate, we laughed, there was music, there was good food, and there was dinner without a rush or time limit. How nice. I will miss these parts of living with people.

Why is it that towards the end of something, you get nostalgic about it?

Thursday, 18 June 2009

When things are confusing

I tend to be a person who likes to know what is going on. When there is something new or coming, I like knowing about it, when there is something changing, I like the inside scoop and when there is a new adventure, I like to be involved. It is strange (though more normal really) when life does not lend itself to being figured out, when I don't know what will happen and have to wait and see. Also, when I don't know what things to commit to and what not to. How to know? Pray. Wait for pieces to fall in to place. Talk. Listen.

I am not a person who is that good at waiting. I get too excited.

Most of all though, what I am learning is that there is a great need to not take life so seriously. Not to worry so much. We can get stuck in having to figure out what is going on in our life, when really, we are such a small part of what is going on in the world. And that thing that seems big now, really will seem a lot smaller once it is over.

And overall life is good. There are a lot of things to be thankful for, and there is a God who knows more than we do, who knows what is going to happen, who loves us more than we can ever imagine. And because he loves us so much, we get to make choices in life. We have desires and dreams that have been placed in the depths of us, and we get to live out of that. To take risks, to have things not work out, to have dreams that we can't see being possible, to have surprises where what we thought was impossible is suddenly happening. And that is life.

Thoreau said that, "our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." I think dreams can be both exciting and scary. Exciting cause if we dare to think that it is possible, whoa, what a world that would be. And scary cause there are pitfalls and things that don't go the way that we want them to, or in the speed that would be preferred. Life as adventure, as seeing what can come, as looking for the best and dreaming of it.

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Dancing in the rain

One day last week, it was pouring rain. My housemate commented on how much she liked the current storm and how hard it was raining. So we went and played in it. The rain was pouring down and we we jumping around and landing in puddles and laughing a lot. Good times, and good to take the time to have times like that.

Priorities in life are interesting because there are so many things that we could do with out time. I don't have a tv and wonder what life would be like if I did cause I don't have extra time now. People take time, it takes time to get to know people, or to sit and have dinner, or to come home at the end of the day and catch up with housemates. This week I went to Minneapolis to meet up with people from 24-7 prayer. It was great! I love meeting people and getting caught up with people that I don't get to see as often as would be preferable. Monday night we had an amazing and relaxing dinner. Great food and lots of time eating, drinking, talking with such a great group of people. Fun times and the kind of time that fills your soul with life and encouragement, seeing where people are at, what they are up to, and joking around about whatever.

Road trips are good too, especially when I bribe myself with car snacks and coffees. I got a scone and coffee for the trip there and then one a coffee on the way back too. Yum. And time that you can't do much. I call people, listen to podcasts and music and drive. Relaxing usually. I hate the times in the car though where you can't relax and don't feel like driving or are so anxious to get there that it seems to take forever. There are certain people that are really good at soaking in the time that they are traveling, good at using the time for something. I am somewhere in between the person who hates road trips and the person that is patient during the trip. I am learning. And I like traveling so it must be done.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

I like Madison

Today was a great day off. It started by sleeping in a bit. Then some cereal with strawberries and coffee with soy that I didn't have to make.

Then I left the house and walked to get my hair cut. I love getting my hair cut and Thorpes, the place that I go, is great. I even was given yummy chocolate peanut butter treats. Then I walked over to Cafe Zoma, a coffee shop that just reopened with new owners. Now it is open later like a real coffee shop. Yeah. And so I sat and drank some iced coffee and wrote in my journal a little and checked my email and such. Then went to a little market and walked back home. What a great day! I love getting to have a day that I can go to places and not have to drive. What a great spot to be! And so many other people were outside too, walking, running, biking. It is great! I wonder what moving to the other side of town will be like. I'll get to walk to different things then.

I have been spoiled for sure. And to have not even have chosen this house, just to have landed in it in such a great spot. So much to be able to walk to. And finally it is warm. I got to wear a skirt and flip flops on my travels.

Now I am going to have dinner and sew a bit hopefully. It's been too long. Do you ever have those things that you want to do, and they just never seem to happen. I think it would be great to have more of a space to be able to sew. Maybe next year I'll put a desk in my room or in a corner of the dining room, then I could have a better space than the kitchen table for creating masterpieces. And maybe it would happen more often.

Madison is a great place, with lots to be able to walk or bike to. I never want to live somewhere where that is not possible. There are so many coffee places, nice friendly people. Good stuff. I need to be careful when crossing the roads though, not to get hit by people biking. I also got startled while I was waiting to cross the street, by a guy running. I jumped a little and he felt bad. Sorry running guy.

I have trouble slowing down and stopping sometimes. Like while I was sitting at the coffee shop, I was thinking of things that I need to get done. Or things that have happened. It took be a little bit to just stop and breathe. Time that does not have to be productive.

Then my day was rudely interrupted by coming home to a mess of a kitchen. AH! I hate dirty dishes out and crumbs on the counter. Yuck. I even bought the sponge at the end of a handle that holds soap. It is easy and if you wash the dish right when you use it, food doesn't get stuck. The mess of it makes me anxious. Yuck, yuck, yuck. But everyone is different and other people may be stressed out by the idea of having to wash a dish right away and may like the idea of doing a stack of them later better. So that is the price I pay for living with other people, not the end of the world. Frustrating for sure, but for getting to know people and getting to live with them, there are things that must be done, like cleaning up.

Back to Madison. I really like it here and the more that I am here the more that I like it. There is a lot of water (lakes) around and there are even docks that float on the water in many locations around the city. Like yesterday I ran down the bike path to a park on the lake and stood on a dock for a while looking at the city and the capital on the other side of the lake. Neat. Then I ran home through a pretty neighborhood. Tomorrow I may go rollerblading, something that I haven't done in years. May be dangerous. But now I am off to make a nice dinner and sew and relax.

Friday, 17 April 2009


Outside it beautiful and sunny and here I am stuck in bed. Yuck. Stupid flu.

Yesterday I got to go and get a chai and then walked past where i am going to live next year. And sat on a floating dock in the lake. Lovely.

I don't like being sick and hope to be better quite soon. Yuck.

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

The little things going not quite right

It has been quite some time since I have written cause I sprained my thumb, which makes typing difficult, awkward, and painful. So here is an entry on a rainy day.

There have been a lot of little dumb things in life that keep not going my way, so much so that my mom says that there is a cloud over my head. Yuck. Like there was a rock flung at my rear view mirror that chipped it. (I am guessing that it was a snow plow or car at night.) Then I had it fixed cause my car had to get the back bumper fixed cause two different people had hit me, one that didn't stop. And then last weekend I was driving to Kansas City and noticed that that mirror that they fixed now shakes when you go over 60 miles per hour, not really the time that you want a useless mirror. A strange thing to realize what is happening too. Suddenly you notice the cars behind you being fuzzy and jumping all over the place. Interesting. And then my health insurance is a confusing mess too. There are no doctors in Madison that I can go to. I hear there are some in Milwaukee though, only a hour or so away. Who wants to drive that far at the point that you need a doctor? All of the phone numbers are wrong, the people who answer haven't heard of the doctor you're looking for, or they don't take the insurance, or they give you a different phone number for the certain doctor you are trying to find and it turns out that they aren't taking new patients. Doesn't really help when I have a very sore hand and no one to look at it. But then there was a clinic who saved the day. They do take the insurance but I haven't seen the paperwork yet.

So I am hopeful that things will work out well soon. There are many things that are good too. I had a great weekend last weekend in Kansas City and a camp in Kansas. Nice and relaxing with lots of space to journal and sit in the sun and pray and talk to people. Was great.

Monday, 9 February 2009

My lovely car and the man that didn't stop at the right time

This morning there was a stop sign with a line of cars in front of it. There was a car in front of me that stopped and so I stopped and the man behind me didn't. So now there are marks from the screws on his front license plate on my back bumper which is really sad. Compared to world hunger, not sad but in a I really love my car and it wasn't my fault so what a bother to get it taken care of way.

It's times like these that I don't want to play being an adult. I'd rather go back to the days when Dad would take care of stuff like this. I called him today anyways to make sure I was doing the right things. Times in life when responsibility is just not that great. And then it gets confusing too with insurance and estimates and the fact that I am going out of town at the end of the week anyway, so this is not really great timing to do everything when all I want to do is go to sleep for a really long time.

And why are there those days when one thing after another seems to happen. Like getting hit, which spilled coffee, getting to work and almost being late, being overwhelmed with the process of getting my car fixed, wondering if it is all going to go horribly wrong and leave me paying a lot of money for no reason, and the my phone died while on it to the insurance. I gave them all the info that I had, had to go outside to get my license plate number, then later in the day found out that I had lost the paper that had all of the important info on it. Great. Then I got home and broke the mug that was holding the coffee from this morning that had spilled. It fell out of my bag on the way out of my car once I was home. All of this happening while I have a headache caused by the bumper hitting or the stress afterwards. I just need to crawl in bed.

Friday, 30 January 2009

Such a girl

I am realizing more and more just how much of a girl I am. I put on perfume and feel better about life. One of my favorite things is my shimmery and glittery lipgloss. And when it's warm, I love wearing skirts. Girl for sure. And I actually like that about me now. Like the little things in life that give life. Well add sparkles to the list. There is a lady who came into work who talks about "little luxuries" in life. Little things that are special. I can relate. I would rather have something that I enjoy than something that just gets the job done.

On a different note, but equally in the little things, why does coffee that you buy when someone else makes it seem to taste better? Or maybe it's the joy of getting it. What good experience though. I have a friday tradition now of stopping by my favorite cafe to get a coffee (and usually a muffin) on my way to work. And I get to see the same people working there each week. That is great and so important. Also, the other coffee shop that was close to our house closed, so I'll do my part to keep this one around.

I love listening to music too. Music and journalling is amazing, especially with some coffee and maybe candles. Good to just take time and reflect and be. How often do we waste time on things that don't matter but not take enough time on the things that do? Breathing in and breathing out. Everyone talks about how there is not enough time and somehow more would get done if we had more. Not quite true cause we won't get more, less sometimes perhaps. So what do you do with the time that you have?

Coming home from work, I was used to running around and being busy all day, then I drove home trying to get there as soon as possible to make it to my slot in the prayer room. Then slowing down was hard and took a little time. Interesting how we can get so wound up, at least I do. Just stop and breathe. And how you go about things changes. Like a car ride being a great time to listen to your music and chill cause you can't do anything to make it go faster.

Speaking of time, sometimes it can be so precious and those moments are worth hanging on to. Some of them can be so surreal too. Like last spring, I got to talk to my Grandma on the phone when we knew that she was dying. I didn't have time to go see her cause she may not have been there by the time I was around, so we had a phone call. What do you say when you know that that is the last conversation that you will have? Suddenly words are lost. What is there? "I love you. And thank you." That's it really. So surreal and heart wrenching, yet I am so thankful for that conversation. How special that I got to have a moment of a goodbye. How inadequate you feel at that moment. Did she know how much I loved her? Does it come across through the telephone lines? Did I express it enough while she was around? Could I have written more letters, or called more? Yes probably and yet she knew. She knew that we loved her. And that conversation was the end of that stage of our relationship. Really what do you say? Bye Grandma, I love you. And time stands still in the moment, like hanging up is too hard and just being there for a bit is all that is possible and needed. Who needs words when there are none to be had? I love you and thank you, really all the words that are needed.

Grandma believed in us. I know that. She loved us. It was so sweet that the last few years that she was around, she let us know more. She said that she loved us, she flew us home for Grandpa's funeral, so that we would be there with her. "I couldn't do it without all my girls." Sure Grandma, I'd be honored to be there for and with you. And I got to see her more in the last 6 months that she was alive than the few years before that. I am so thankful that I was in Michigan for a while and got to spend that time. That is when time is important and sweet and so hard at the same time cause this person that you love has a body that is not working up to the standard that it should be. And you knew that it was getting to be that time. And you prayed that it would be painless for her and that everyone would be able to let go, including her.

She bought me a computer, she bought me a really nice computer, saying that it would mean more when I couldn't afford it. That she would like to get to see me enjoy it while she was around. She made me scream when I found out that she was going to do that for me. People were asking what was going on and I couldn't talk. I love you Grandma and thank you.

Monday, 26 January 2009

Little Things

I love how little things can mean so much and be so fulfilling, like sleeping in, yeah. And good pajamas, good coffee, a giant blueberry pancake, reading my Bible, a run. What a good day! I love to be able to take the time to do nothing and yet the nothing is so life giving and restful and oh so important. A day without a schedule, lovely. And now off for a coffee chat in a bit. Good times.

I wonder how often we miss out on getting to know and love people because we don't take the time for them, don't take the time to get to know them past the "hey, how are you?" And yet we don't have all the time in the world either. So what to do? Notes to say you're thinking of them, emails to check in, skype chats, calls, getting together when possible. With all of our technology, I wonder if it keeps us better in touch with people who are far away, if it connects us when we are not in the same location. At the same time though, does it take us away from the people and the community that are right in front of us?

So taking time for little things, reading, walking, running, saying hello and sitting down for a cup of tea.

Sunday, 25 January 2009

On my iPod

Who knew that there would come a day when I would be able to type a blog entry on my iPod? Craziness. Here goes nothing I guess. I heard that there is a woman writting a book on her iphone. I don't envy her. This is not that easy, though it auto-corrects which is helpful. There were people who came into work asking how to use the iPod touch that they had gotten for Christmas. They were stunned and excited about being able to check email on it; still amazes me too. Will the wonder of technology fade away? I suppose on some things it does.

Does wonder in life always fade, always need to be remembered and brought back? Without wonder, there's nothing to question. Plus it gives us a positive way to look at things, wonder, amazement, curiosity, amusement. Life wouldn't be as captivating without these things. Sometimes it does take a remembering though, remember when that situation, person, feeling, thought was new? How has it changed? A maturing in knowledge can lead to more depths in what the wondering entails, learn more that leads to more questions towards more insight which makes you wonder all the more.

Friday, 16 January 2009


How does it count as a "high" if the temperature doesn't even make it to positive numbers? It somehow forgot to warm up. Coldest days is Wisconsin in a record number of years and I get to be here for it. Oh man. Sometimes makes me wonder why I moved here, I mean why didn't I pick a nice beachy spot? Maybe next time.

It is interesting in life now that I don't have plans for moving. There is no reason that I have to leave and as of yet, nothing calling me to move somewhere else. Look at me being settled. I even own furniture. (a chair and shelf, but you have to start somewhere.) The idea of having stuff is still not one that I like.

Yesterday, my family participated in quite a techy moment. My sister and Dad uploaded pictures to my public folder. Then my housemates were watching a movie on my computer so I looked at the photos on my ipod. Crazy world for sure.

There was a lady who came to the store yesterday and said she had a philosophical question. "If we are spending so much time learning technology and using it...... what are we not doing?" At first I didn't know, then she rephrased, "What would you do if you had more time?"

I would sleep more, run more, and read more books I think.

Then the conversation turned into one about how people are wanting more community nowadays, how technologies can separate people, how it is interesting that the most popular websites are the networking ones, facebook, myspace, etc. Are we still taking the time to get to know people in unplugged world. (maybe with some background music from an ipod, like the lovely Pandora radio that I am listening to now.)

How do we stay connected to people? Email, it turns out, is a good way to schedule time.....